Sad but understanding applause
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost
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Do i get to have sex?
No you have to live for the grind
There's no benefit to killing my mom for $0 while having no friends. 
Original is funny on its own.
I'm convinced. I'm calling today
Someone's grandma is hot
Everyone is hot there.
Of course they are. Do you have any idea how much heat those old computer generated?
Yeah, I want to upset mom.
Smack the dick out of her mouth?
I'm not going to smack my own dick.
I mean,.
Wait...
Nevermind.
Pure zen.
Sorry, I just stopped for the boobs and felt I should at least say hi.
I always take my MASSIVE flag with me to the beach. You'll never know when 3 beautiful but absolutely useless people will be running by wearing skimpy 'uniforms'.
Where do you insist on taking your MASSIVE flag? I have it on me at all times, it's very tricky to control in small but windy public toilets 😢
God bless you.
Do I have an upset my mom? She kinda old an super cool
To be an unpaid professional shitposter? Yes, it's a licencing requirement.
Fuckin amateurs...
bUT mY mOmMy Is cOoL
Might qualify to be a shitposer
Jk obviously
Kinda
bUT mY mOmMy Is cOoL
But she is. I'll testify to that.
Only if you also testify to that stinky finger.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Aight we good. Tell your mom I said wassup.
Do you have a ouija board?
:(
Yes
Goodbye
Holy shit, that twist
Dont forget eat hot chip
Always be on they phone
And wash your once every two weeks. AT LEAST ONCE, every two weeks
Sign. Me. The. Fuck. Up.
Who doesn't?
Server Bay Watch
Just got it. Had to come back to updoot
What if I shitpost at work?
Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime...so I shitpost on company time.
No benefits? But you get to shitpost the f out of your life?