Time to get Elon a trillion dollar bonus!
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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It's irritating to see him looting the company like that when he actually delivers negative value to the company otherwise. Literally it would be better for Tesla to give those bonuses to some random person on the street than to Musk.
The cult is about Musk, not Tesla. If they lose Musk, the stans will leave and it's a $15 stock, maybe.
Can you imagine the sales bump from the positive PR if they had given 500 random strangers a million dollars instead of giving it to Elon? Absolute worst case they would have sold roughly 499 more cars.
its probably not only about the money for people like these. musk would probably feel dirty if he did anything truely altruistic.
It wouldn't though because the only reason Tesla isn't trading at 1/100th the current price is because of Musk. It isn't a company that makes cars, its a company that makes bullshit stock value, and its really good at that.
I believe we call that a meme stock now
Wasn‘t the trillion dollar bonus tied to Tesla stocks hitting a ridiculous, record breaking high that they will never reach? I believe that whole thing was a stunt.
Of course it was. Everything around TSLA is a stunt. No serious analyst would come within 10 miles of this company.
You can reach incredible heights if you lie. They unfortunately are masters of it and he's got government backing to cover for it. So yea, we'll see.
Only one way to find out. Let's start a lottery.
To make it worse, the company makes a thing modern society needs going forward.
i must be thinking of something else because i'm pretty sure its competitors make them better
Maybe they do, the point is EV development is important.
He will never see that bonus, the performance targets he needs to meet to actually get it are utterly insane.
Don't worry, while they may have worse business results than a lot of other companies, displaying steeper loss of market, whose non car initiative have failed, whose leader squandered his reputation to throw in with a political movement that hates EVs in hopes of political clout that evaporated within a few months...
They still have a market cap bigger than all their competitors combined, because why not....
Stick price increases 825 per cent
Shareholders predict him to extract billions more from your government.
i'm surprised he doesn't have a hat that says this
So the real investment from Tesla is the company stealing from government resources!!
I see tesla profits down articles every day here but their stock is at an all timeish high. Whats the dealio?
"The Market Can Remain Irrational Longer Than You Can Remain Solvent" - Luke Skywalker
Dang Luke is truly a jack of all trades
And here we see someone realizing that "the market" is just made up and it's all just gambling under another name.
Tesla is a cult.
stock market is in the k-hole
tldr, price action overall is easily manipulated by articial selling/buying pressure alongside predictable cyclical market events, due to unique rules certain features of the US markets have. rules which the majority of the world fixed in their own markets after 2000/2008 but the US kept because those rules are specifically designed to allow for blatant price manipulation (which makes it incredibly easy for those in the know, especially wallstreet/banks to suck up $)
And yet, the stock barely reacted. It's really a gamble on Elon's ability to keep the scam going and growing at this point. Wouldn't recommend for investors, would recommend for idiots.
Coz he lied about robo taxies being a thing
And now he lies about robot butlers in every household becoming a thing. I can not wait to see what Sci-fi novel he lazily copies next.
I just want to hear that whatever robo whatever he has installed in himself bluescreened
Robo taxis are a thing.. but not much of a thing and it's not Tesla.
Even if robo taxis appear, how much money do people think is in taxis? Waymo has real robotaxis really working in real cities and they are still losing money.
Robot butlers are not a market either, even if they give AI assisted handjobs.
Oh robot butlers would be huge, but no one is even vaguely close to that. All the demos have been remote controlled, demonstrating that can make dumb robots, but that's not really new...
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I will continue to pray dearly for Teslas profit to fall even lower.
And morons will continue to invest like it's a fucking meme stock.
It is.
Almost all of this is Elon's fault. Sure, a small percentage is Byd, but it's mostly Elon. Toxic brand.
Looooooooooooolllll
Deep breath, no seriously..
Bwahahahahahaha
what an inspirational story!
Ok, now supercharge this trend in 2026.
Darn, how terrible. Anyway, have you guys watched Pluribus yet? It's pretty good.
and the stonk goes up!
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