this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Autism

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When you’re autistic and trying to flirt with someone who is also autistic (media.piefed.social)
submitted 1 day ago by pieland@piefed.social to c/autism@lemmy.world
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[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 69 points 1 day ago (2 children)

My husband (who is autistic) will do or say something sexy at me, pause, then qualify it with “I’m flirting with you.”

A few days ago I pointed this out, and he said “well, just so my intentions are clear.”

Love that muppet.

[–] Pronell@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago

I think announcing our flirting is now a relationship meme. I totally get his reasons for announcing it.

I never got the hang of flirting, and my wife had resigned herself to never having a real relationship.

Took a couple on-the-spectrum stoner nerds a long time to find each other.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Bro just wanted to make sure you don’t sue for sexual harassment

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 13 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

She bit me. I definitely understood that.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 19 points 21 hours ago

I'm ADHD married to an AuDHD.

Their show of affection towards me is either biting me, or poking me in the butthole on a stairwell. It must work because we've been married for over 8 years.

[–] novibe@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 day ago

Wish I was this kind of autistic. But I just overthink it and say nothing then get frustrated.

[–] halfsalesman@piefed.social 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I don't know if my anxiety would allow me to explicitly state that I'm flirting with someone. I may force myself to try that though.

I wish I could ask if they were flirting with me, but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of contexts where if I asked they'd say no because I asked even though the true answer was yes. And if the true answer actually was no, then they'd suddenly probably just become uncomfortable. Both results are just a loss.

I hate it.

EDIT: Just to clarify, I've gotten pretty OK at flirt detection, but it uses like 100% of my concentration and focus and its exhausting. Usually worth it though.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago

I've figured out just be you, let the autism flow.

If she's into you, it will flow from her too.

Don't try to process it just observe, and let the two neurospicy streams swirl together. There will be a point where there are no questions and everything just happens.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 2 points 16 hours ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-yGUSRdNG4

[–] timewarp@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is that autistic? I do have autism but I think a lot women appreciate being upfront about intentions rather than those who beat around the bush, no pun intended

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

I had laser hair removal years ago, so I don't have a bush for men to beat around.

[–] Jojowski@sopuli.xyz 4 points 22 hours ago

This is the way.

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 4 points 22 hours ago

Totally me.