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[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago

I’ve always wanted to be suffocated by jugs the size of basketballs

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

They are both the last meal and the method of execution

[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I never thought I'd die like this, but I've always sort of hoped

[-] vivadanang@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

Yeah I don't want to marry 'em, but like, a test drive would be awesome. Or as a form of euthanasia....

[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago
[-] vivadanang@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

my wife would object

[-] swab148@startrek.website 42 points 10 months ago

Gender-bent Kevin James is here and I'm here for it!

[-] OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Gender bent Kevin James can get it

[-] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago

I’ve been in more compromising situations

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago
[-] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 40 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

One time I was trying to feed some chimps a banana at the zoo and I fell in the enclosure. Luckily I still had the banana so I tried to bargain with the chimps. Unfortunately it was mating season and they weren’t having any of it. The largest chimp gestured that he wanted me to eat the banana, emphasising to do it slowly. As I began to peel the banana I heard a gunshot. Luckily the zookeepers were just in time to rescue me and they got me out of the enclosure. Unfortunately they weren’t happy and told me I had broken the rules so they were going to take me to the police. Luckily one of the gorillas had just died so they offered to let me work at the zoo in a gorilla suit until they could figure out what to do about the dead gorilla. I agreed, put on the gorilla suit and went into the enclosure. Unfortunately there were 3 females in there too and they knew straight away I wasn’t a gorilla. Luckily one of them knew sign language and we managed to come to an agreement where they would help me escape in exchange for some favours. Unfortunately it was mating season for them as well. Long story short is it was all a very close call but I made it out

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Keep going I'm almost there

[-] swab148@startrek.website 15 points 10 months ago

I think it just ends in that dude getting some gorillussy

[-] Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago
[-] swab148@startrek.website 9 points 10 months ago

Well if you insist. When I was young my family and I went to the zoo, as well, and boy did we have a doozy. A giraffe licked my sister's hand, the chimpanzees were in full swing, and we saw one lemur give another lemur a blow job.

This was unfortunately in the age before smartphones, and my parents took us away before I could snap a pic with the digital camera I had.

[-] bartleby1@lemmy.ml 10 points 10 months ago

damn ChatGPT has gotten lewd

[-] mykneedoesnthurt@kbin.social 9 points 10 months ago

Thanks for your service

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'm game 😏

Not everyday you get asked for a threesome by 2 Paul Blart, Mall Cops.

[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

2 blart 2 mall

[-] Psythik@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

Sign me up.

[-] Gabu@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

This is the first meme in a while where I'm completely lost...

[-] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 10 months ago
[-] vivadanang@lemm.ee 15 points 10 months ago

everyone thinks it's swingers.... and wakes up realizing it was kidney thieves.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Good luck with that, Ive thoroughly voided the warranty on mine

[-] Denalduh@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

You know.. The lifestyle.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

They crave the penis

[-] TheYear2525@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

cuckqueans be like

[-] MBZzZzZzZz@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Now, that's what I call a Heffer, nan.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago
[-] seahorse@midwest.social 9 points 10 months ago
this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
283 points (95.2% liked)

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