this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2026
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History Memes

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[–] PugJesus@piefed.social 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Explanation: Caesar was a notorious adulterer who had numerous affairs with aristocratic women, including at least two queens. His own soldiers called him a "bald adulterer", and his political enemies referred to him as "Every woman's man and every man's woman" (bicon Caesar!).

His affair with the Egyptian queen Cleopatra resulted in Cleopatra later coming to the city of Rome - with a child in tow she claimed was his! He does not appear to have been put off by this, and received her and the child courteously, hosting them both at Rome in comfortably aristocratic fashion.

This serial adultery does not actually appear to have seriously impaired his relationship with his third wife, Calpurnia, who remained affectionate and fond of him. What a silver-tongued devil Caesar must have been!

Charismatic and extremely confident, he's probably more legendary than most other rulers. Given how Rome was believed to run entirely on personal and client to patron relationships, charisma will take you really far.

Memory of Julius Caesar will probably outlast even the rulers of the modern age.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 1 week ago

Cleopatra, is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims she is the one,

But the kid is not my son

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You see. This is what I don't get about these ancient rulers. If someone brought me 40 elephants as a gift, I'd just be like "What the fuck am I supposed to do with all these elephants?"

[–] PugJesus@piefed.social 5 points 1 week ago

Easy answer in Rome:

TO THE ARENA

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Sell them to Carthage. They have a lad there who loves an oul' elephant.

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago

Vidi, vici, veni uwu

[–] Maultasche@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Have you considered hiding the child in a small village in Gaul?