Comradeship // Freechat

The failure would come from not doing anything or being a traitor like that lib you described.

On the contrary, I believe you're being very brave in the face of US liberal-fascism. Not unlike Jewish communists in Germany in the 30's - 40's. The powers-that-be got nervous because you are doing something that unsettles them.

If the fash rage about your actions, that's a good sign 99% of the time. The only valid leftist politics are those which annoy the right.

As far as I can see, you may need a temporary retreat to reorganise, mentally and as a collective, to strike later. When facing too strong odds, that may be the superior strategy.

"I am X"... The question is not what we are now, but what we will be tomorrow. Communism will win.

I'm a failure of a comrade.

First of all you need to reject that thought entirely. It is absolutely not true, you have already done far more than most in your position. Already your organizing has been an enormous accomplishment.

I don't know anything anymore.

Remind yourself that this is how they want you to feel. They want you to feel defeated and demoralized. A psychological war is being waged against you with all means at their disposal.

So I created a separate account and announced that no matter what, if students still want a class walkout, it will happen no matter what admin says.

This was 100% the right decision.

I took down the posts announcing the walkout. My family told admin this, and that since we have listened to their demands, there is no need for a meeting tomorrow.

This is a mistake. Don't surrender to their bullying. Don't let them make you feel like you are alone. You are not. You have many comrades who will support you if you go through with the walkout.

Instead, admin demanded that I meet them first thing in the morning tomorrow before school even starts, for no other reason than to harass me.

Once they sense any weakness from you they will only push further and further. That is why it is so important to not give them an inch. Stand firm and stand together with like minded people.

No matter how it turns out at least you will know you fought to the end and did not give up.

They are also demanding that I send them photographic proof of a post officially announcing a cancellation to the walk out, by the end of this evening.

Don't. Don't send them anything. Get in touch with everyone who agreed to the walkout and tell them it is still happening. You are in the right here. You can only lose if you capitulate to the intimidation and the terror.

I want to just curl into a ball and cry until I shrivel up. I am so exhausted.

It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be exhausted. It's completely understandable to feel the way you feel. If you need to take a step back after this to take care of yourself, pass the leadership of this movement on to someone you trust, no one will hold it against you or think you failed.

Last time admin had a problem with my politics, they weaponized my history of sexual assault to force me to be silent about Palestine, and they weaponized my medical history

The enemy will weaponize anything and everything to try and hurt you. They are vile but they are also desperate. That is how you know you are doing something right.

Remember that they only have psychological power over you if you allow them to have it. Defiance gives you power. Whatever they try to do to you, you will survive it with the help of your comrades. You have survived worse before.

I'm so scared for tomorrow

It is normal to be scared. In many ways this is like going into a battle. Anyone who says they are not scared before something like this is lying to themselves or to others. But you can push through that fear. The enemy wants you to let your fear paralyze you into inaction.

Recognize that you are not the only person who feels this way, but that if you stand firm together you can deal a grave defeat to those who have launched this psychological attack on you. If you go through with it despite all of their terror, they lose.

Edit: a small addition here to put this part into perspective:

She went behind my back on Monday. She met with admin, entirely capitulated to their demands without even notifying me, and kicked me from our joint social media account for the walkout and blocked me on it.

This, by the way, is extremely reminiscent of the behavior of labor leadership in trade unions going back decades and decades.

The leadership of unions gets bought out and betrays the members, lies to them and makes a deal with the capitalist bosses, after which their job is to sell this betrayal as a "pragmatic necessity" to the rank and file while crushing and silencing the dissenters.

This is a painful experience that many of us who are involved in labor organizing and activism have had to go through in one form or another. Ultimately these experiences strengthen us and steel us, they hone our instincts about who we can trust and who we can't.

You have done wonderful. You know how to speak to your class in a way that they'll listen, and you have their respect. Even if you choose to retreat in the face of these personal and psychological attacks, you won't lose the ear of your peers.

Whatever you choose to do, I'm sure you will have made the right choice. Sending you lots of love.

Comrade, you are braver than I'll ever be. I salute your courage - you are an inspiration to us all.

🫡 💙

Its posts like this that make me so hopeful for our future. You are an inspiration and youre doing incredible things, never change, and never compromise with those fucking libs.

First I want to say that you're not a failure!

You're already extremely brave for being willing to put yourself out there like that, organizing a movement and clashing with authority head on. I think that you're also being unfair to yourself, since the things that are going on in Palestine, Iran, Lebanon etc aren't under our direct control, and they're not things that we can fix with our own efforts easily. You're doing more than the vast majority of people, and you should be proud of that.

As for what you should do... I think at this point you kind of have three options. The first is to completely burn bridges and announce that you're going ahead with the walkout anyways, and to organize it. The downside for this is that you'll draw more fire from the administration, and possibly they'll try to take you down or get you expelled somehow. If you can gain more visibility for yourself, you might be able to make this a bigger fight, but it is pretty risky.

Another option would be for you to publicly announce that you'll no longer be hosting the walkout, but imply that others can still do it spontaneously, if they'd like, essentially detaching it from yourself, while also making it clear you're under pressure. And finally, you could completely acquiesce, keep your head down, and hope they don't come after you any more.

Personally, I feel 1 or 2 would be better, but you've more than earned your right to choose what to do from this point on.

Hey, so there are two things that stick out to me.

First, you are not a failure and you should be proud that you have acted according to convictions you feel so strongly. You are familiar with conditions on the ground so take my perspective with caution because you are in a better position than I am. That said I would encourage you to try to get in the head of the school admin. They are (most likely) not ideologically Zionist, they are probably trying to keep the lid on a situation that brings them a lot of attention and gives them extra work. Most people in the imperial core are not actively thinking about these things because they are not conscious of them like you are. There will still be tension of course, but they do not want to crush you or hurt you (again, most likely, you are there and I am not) they just want things to blow over quietly.

And second, I would encourage you to think strategically about this. You are heavily invested in this project, and that might be affecting how you are analyzing the situation. You have in fact accomplished something impressive: You have a bunch of your classmates paying attention to news and listening to a perspective that is driving them to action as well! You are, in fact, already organizing them. So there is a tactical decision here, as I see it. You can, and perhaps should, continue confronting the administration with these moves that they are working to stifle. But that's not the only thing you can do. You can continue educating your peers, you can lead a book club or discussion session or platform other perspectives to help them grow.

Put another way, don't let the administration set the terms of what you are able to get your peers to do. If their resistance to one approach becomes overbearing you have the ability to pivot to something else without losing your cadre. You have a ton of options, so don't feel like if this particular step is not worth the heat, then you have been defeated. Adapting is good praxis

Finally, I'm sure this is an annoying thing to hear from a stranger, but take care of yourself. I'm sure you're more than aware but this whole thing is to clearly affecting your mental health and your home life. Those are big costs to pay, make sure the things that are causing those pains are worth it. You're ahead of the curve and you clearly have talent in organizing. Don't burn yourself out in school, we need people like you for things that are ahead of us.