this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2026
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Source: https://xcancel.com/vxunderground/status/2032600868005310638#m

Yeah, so basically the current prevailing schizo internet theory is that AI nerds have destroyed the internet and created infinite spam.

The advertisement goons are now incapable of determining who is a bot and who is an actual human. The advertisement goons no longer want to pay as much to social media networks.

Social media networks, in full blown panic of losing potential revenue, decided to lobby governments saying "we gotta protect the kids! ID everyone to protect the kids from pedophiles!".

The social media networks know this doesn't really protect kids. But, it does two things (and a third accidentally).

  1. They now can identify who is human and who is AI slop machine, or enough to appease the advertisement goons

  2. Advertising to children is a general no-no from politicians, or something, so with ID verification they can say with confidence they're not advertising to children because it's been ID verification. Basically, they can weed out the children and focus on advertising to adults

  3. The feds can now tell who is human and who is AI slop. This inadvertently helps them with tracking people and serving fresh daily dumps of propaganda, or whatever they want to do.

It's a win-win-win for advertisers, social media networks, the government, and any business which does data collections.

It fucks over everyone else.

Chat, I'm not going to lie to you. This is an extremely good conspiracy schizo theory and I unironically believe it.

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[โ€“] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

๐Ÿงฉ Hyper Rationalizing Autistic person here. My condition makes me view reality as systems within systems within systems with infinite recursion.

I have read this post.

I have not detected logical inconsistency in this theory... And all the facts that I know seem to support the hypothesis.

And yes I know I sound like AI. Ironically, AI tools tell me that too. ๐Ÿ˜…

If anyone wants to introduce a new premise or fact into the hypothetical scenario, I'll let you know if it makes sense or not (to me).

[โ€“] obey@lemmy.wtf 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

So what every website will have to have age verification? Or else if your website lacks such controls you go to jail?

[โ€“] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 12 minutes ago

Eventually every USER will have to be identified on the Internet, to prove their age, so that we know they aren't children, because we want to protect children.

So I have to allow everything I say or do on the Internet to be exposed to the entire world, because parents can't be bothered to supervise their children's Internet use.

[โ€“] IratePirate@feddit.org 11 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

The advertisement goons are now incapable of determining who is a bot and who is an actual human.

Bullshit. Social networks track the living shit out of everyone and know exactly what's human traffic and what isn't. Device identifiers (user agent, IP ranges, browser fingerprint, (lack of) ad id, etc.) and behavioral patterns (including purchase history) differ wildly.

Advertising to children is a general no-no from politicians, or something,

Bullshit. Even advertising to kids were outlawed (it isn't), politicians could be just bought off by advertisers to turn a blind eye. This is particularly true for the land of their formerly free and home of the formerly brave where corruption is now an above-the-counter item, practiced out in the open by the president himself.

I thought land of the free and home of the brave was Scotland

[โ€“] bitwolf@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

If of wasn't Metas involvement, I was thinking it would be the first stab at a social credit system.

Is definitely a ploy to identify us all and certainly not to protect children.

[โ€“] imjustmsk@lemmy.world 17 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

What a beautiful world we live in.ย 

(my first ever post in the fediverse lol)ย 

[โ€“] mistermodal@lemmy.ml 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] UnimportantHuman@lemmy.ml 7 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Just cut off a friend who tried to tell me racism isn't a choice. Knew him for over a decade but he fell into an algorithm that he became obsessed with. He really believed he was seeing the "truth" finally.

[โ€“] MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago

Average Andrew Tate fan

[โ€“] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Youโ€™ve made the right choice. Just watch out for the crazies, they mask well.

[โ€“] FukOui@lemmy.zip 19 points 10 hours ago

Plausible considering it's been shown that meta is the one responsible for lobbying this shit

[โ€“] eli@lemmy.world 19 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Want a real schizo theory?

People are going to use the ID verification thing to see which accounts are child accounts, pull all details for those accounts and make a database of children's accounts, and then sell that information to bad actors who plan to traffic children.

[โ€“] murmelade@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 hours ago

Palantir Orphan Hunter

[โ€“] freedickpics@lemmy.ml 7 points 9 hours ago

Doesn't even need to be intentional when there are virtually no consequences for leaking that info

[โ€“] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 6 points 9 hours ago

The bad news for the AI goons is that the capitalists have squeezed us so hard that we no longer have any money to spend on the products we're programmed to lust after. Not sure what the end game is.

[โ€“] kahoodd@reddthat.com 18 points 11 hours ago

and we have upcoming android lockdown๐Ÿ‘Œ

[โ€“] gray@lemmy.ml 30 points 14 hours ago (6 children)

I don't love the word schizo, but otherwise I am on board

[โ€“] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Agree because it's a real mental illness that some people are tornented with, and that word should not be thrown around playfully.

The word I didn't love from OOP was "unironically." I truly don't love that word.

[โ€“] merde@sh.itjust.works 1 points 33 minutes ago

what's your problem with the word "unironically" ?

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[โ€“] No1@aussie.zone 44 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

This is just the beginning.

You think it's just about ID?

Politicians in both the UK and Australia have spoken about banning VPNs, because VPNs have been used to avoid age verification in those countries.

[โ€“] daannii@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago

Which is stupid. Kids aren't using vpns. Most good ones cost money. And kids aren't very tech savvy these days.

Most grow up with phones and tablets only. They don't even know how to use a keyboard or a PC.

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[โ€“] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 16 points 13 hours ago

Seems like the most obvious fucking thing in the world

[โ€“] kieron115@startrek.website 80 points 18 hours ago (6 children)

This isn't even a conspiracy theory, it's been investigated and found to be mostly true.

https://tboteproject.com/git/hekate/attestation-findings

[โ€“] ivn@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 2 points 4 hours ago

That's actually vx-underground source for this post: https://xcancel.com/vxunderground/status/2032562782248349793#m

[โ€“] Tiresia@slrpnk.net 5 points 11 hours ago

It's not even a conspiracy, it's just corporations and politicians behaving according to individual incentives and communicating about it publicly with a basic level of indirectness to avoid outrage.

[โ€“] a_gee_dizzle@lemmy.ca 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I never thought about it until I clicked on this link, but repositories are actually a really good format for investigative journalism. Allows you to organize all the supporting documents alongside the article in an organized way.

[โ€“] msage@programming.dev 1 points 3 hours ago

It's great for most written things in society.

Laws? Oh yes, please.

Any official communication? Thank you.

Even mundane things like cooking guides would benefit from history and versioning. Imagine entire family sending their branches for favourite pie/turkey/whatever else.

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[โ€“] BeN9o@lemmy.world 142 points 20 hours ago (18 children)

"Advertising to Children is a general no-no.."

Uhh what? Advertising to children is like no1 priority. That's why Kim K etc is in fortnite, happy meals are bad food aimed at kids and of course standard TV adverts can be heavily aimed at kids, even tho its the parents spending the money.

[โ€“] starblursd@lemmy.zip 24 points 17 hours ago

Data collection* from children is a general No-No but with this they don't have to collect the data to know they're a child and can now specifically target them without having to collect data first. Thereby avoiding coppa fines

[โ€“] new_world_odor@lemmy.world 42 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Advertising to children is significantly more tightly regulated, for the very reason that they're so damn thirsty for it.

[โ€“] kieron115@startrek.website 28 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I grew up in the 90s and there were some absolutely unhinged ads during saturday morning cartoons. This spoof is only slightly crazier than an actual capri sun liquid cool commercial.

https://youtu.be/eyd51lvu3xw

[โ€“] damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world 29 points 19 hours ago

Facebook has known since over a decade that under 13s are on their networks and instead of booting them, the CEO (whoever he is) decided to make the platforms more addictive to under 13s. Real quote from the LA court case going on right now.

Also, the new CEO of Xbox Gaming is ex-AI Head of Microsoft and the ex-Head of under-13 policy at Facebook. So she did everything the CEO (whoever he is) asked her to do, including making the platforms more addictive and pushing back on govt intervention.

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[โ€“] Avicenna@programming.dev 7 points 13 hours ago

I mean AI goons are destroying the internet and open source, that much is true.

[โ€“] null@lemmy.org 11 points 15 hours ago

It makes more sense than it doesn't.

Maybe not as shadow cabal type of collusion, but as the path of least resistance that all these entities would find themselves going down independently... at the same time.

[โ€“] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 35 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

That actually makes sense.

[โ€“] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 16 points 16 hours ago

Honestly, the only "schizo" part of this is the assertion that people aren't allowed to advertise to children, otherwise this all makes perfectly sane sense.

[โ€“] Pricklesthemagicfish@reddthat.com 33 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Second to make all advertising illegal

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[โ€“] maplesaga@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

My theory is its war with China. The US has likely alerted other country that China will do to them that the US does to Iran, using social media to guide elections.

[โ€“] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 20 hours ago

Posted on Twitter lmfao

[โ€“] 1984@lemmy.today 8 points 16 hours ago

I like how they call everything conspiracy theories these days. Yeah, nothing to see here, just wanna protect children.... :)

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