Not gonna lie, I had to read that twice to make sure I wasnβt dreaming π
this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2026
503 points (98.5% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
38858 readers
4105 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I am so tired of political spam texts. Now they're political spam sexts.
When others go low I get high with the obamas
Yes
At least there would be more eye witnesses to help debunk Joan Riversβ conspiracy theory.
Seeing Michelle dancing to that Bruno Mars song on the Ellen show was, um, nuts.
Hit it and STOP it
Do not accept, he only offers 420 do not accept anything less than 69420
Wait, he offered you 69420? I got offered 42069, and took it because it seemed like a pretty good deal. Now I have ragrets.
Depends on the use case. If thousands get separated, 69,420 looks nicer. If you want a port number, only 42069 is valid.
Y'all think you're gonna bang Michelle while Barack watches but it's really gonna be Barack banging YOU while Michelle watches.
In this room with two dicks, I'm not the one with two holes...
"I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream"
Is that really so bad?
No. In fact, that makes it better imo.
yes!
Do you think you could perform in front of either of the Obamas? I know I couldn't.
I'll whisper right in Obama's ear as I cream on his back "this is how you dispose of bus loads of kids," then I'd smack the back of his head.
This is both the best and disturbing thing I've read in some time, well done!
God dammit.
Jesus fucking Christ
LMAO. Lemmy comment of the year right here.
On the back, belly, face, etc always seemed like a waste of good cum to me. Like, if it's not being absorbed by mucus membranes somewhere, then are you really living?
Perform what though?
Perform vaginal sex upon Mrs. Obama as Mr. Obama pumps his fist and chants βYes we can!β
Under Pressure, clearly
I can fake the drums; hardest part will be finding ~~a vocalist~~ the vocalists
Pressure
Pushing down on me
Pressing down on you
π
King Lear.
It's only the first act, though. You'll be fine.
I find Michelle to be attractive, so I'd say yes. Unless Mr. Obama is also looking to get freaky, then probably no.
Personally there are exactly 0 US presidents I'd fuck. They do not deserve sex imo
Oh yeah??? So you're telling me if we did a comprehensive review of your comments we wouldn't find any instance of you saying "fuck [president's name]"???
Checkmate, gottem, I rest my case.
you got me
James Garfield was kind of good looking, I might bottom for him.
Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the hat
Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the beard
This is why we needed Kamala
He just wants to watch.
Oh, that's okay then.
go for the weed w/presidential seal. π‘
Would. Both of them.
Some experiences are just so crazy, you have to say yes, given the opportunity, so that freakiness can be born into the universe through you.
You're not going to not take the Obamas up on a threesome. That kind of opportunity doesn't knock twice.
load more comments
(1 replies)
What a nice polite man!
Opportunity of a lifetime.