Bro fr I dunno why places even try saving money on that 1-ply bullshit; I'm just gonna keep folding until I'm working with 20-ply at that point and guarantee use more total paper overall
this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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Supposedly it's to make it so that no one wants to steal it, which I guess is a problem in some parts of the world where even shitty toilet paper is coveted.
I used to nick it anyway. One day I ran out of tp and forgot to buy some, so just took it from work. Then I got the bug and took another next week, another next week. Industrial sized rolls too. I ended up with a stupid sized stockpile. Then covid happened. Had to keep my curtains shut so nobody saw that I had so so so so so so so fucking much.
You’ve never been that poor?
Poor enough to prefer to shit at work when I can get paid for it and not use up my own TP, but rich enough to buy decent TP for myself at home.
The early COVID times were another matter.
I have one use case that actually makes sense. In one of the facilities I work in my desk is in the founders old house from the 1970s and for some reason the waste plumbing is too shallow and at too little of an angle into the main that it freezes and gets backed up every year. Because of the cost to fix it, and because there's probably a reason that it's wrong to begin with (everyone that would know is dead now), we use single ply in that building during the cold months because it breaks down easier.
I have had this image saved on my phone for years and now I finally know where it came from. 
HOLD ON I GOTTA TEXT THIS TO MY WIFE SHE JUST LEFT FOR WORK EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING
Well? What did she say?
She laughed her funny laugh and said yeah
Bidet gang.
At home, sure, but not available anywhere else I go. And as they say, "my boss makes a dollar and I make a dime.."
Do what I did...
Buy a 3d printer.
Design and print a funnel that can clip under the rim of any toilet that diverts some of the water up your arse.
Do the poopiest of poops.
Clip the AnywayBidet™ on to the toilet.
Flush toilet.
And, BOOM, you now know why I'm banned from every ikea in the UK.
Ok, maybe I should've tried it in the actual toilets rather than the showroom area. Either way the AnywayBidet™ is a surefire way to get people talking!!
they make these things called "peri bottles". they hold about 16 oz of water and make excellent portable bidets. i steal them from hospitals (no i'm not joking i take at least two every visit, for what i'm paying i should take a gross). fill them with warm water before you pop in to do your business (if you have time. i recognize i'm talking about luxuries not everyone has. i would keep two in my bag full of cold water at all times and one empty just in case i had the time to get warm water. this is literally why i started carrying a purse back when i was a boy)
Oh so you're the reason HCMC is bankrupt.
Not for that reason but maybe? I have "accidentally" bankrupted a medical system once or twice in my day (they know what they did)
Wet wipes make do. Not a perfect approximation by any means, but better than dry wiping with what feels like a wad of sandpaper
They all wreck havage on plumbing regardless of whether they claim to be flushable. Don't be that ignorant person.
3 ply for the win. But what a shitpost🥳