"Jimmy Jack McDaniel"
this post was submitted on 21 May 2026
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To be fair, Elon never specified exactly what he meant by the word "briefly" and the phrase "serve as a boat"
Oh wait, yes he did
My favorite part is the driver being jailed and charged with a whole host of boating crimes. No boating license, missing required tools, etc
My favorite was "not having a valid boat registration". It is such a great addition of insult to injury. "Oh look, this dude thinks his 'truck' is a 'boat'. Guess we have to cite him for not registering his 'boat'. What a shame."
Jimmy Jack McDaniel
Had the whole bottle I presume?
Also a burger and some popcorn
Forgetting the death trap electronics and whatnot for a second..
How are you supposed to propel yourself and steer?
Elon is a magic wizard he can figure it out.
Well, the guy did say "briefly", so if you drive into the water with speed and the right direction, you might theoretically not need to propel yourself nor steer...
By the same logic, it can also briefly act as a plane, you just need to drive at top speed off a cliff. But don't tell that to Cybertruck owners, or do, I am not your mother.
There are lots of amphibious vehicles that just do that with existing tires.
Yep, deep enough tread will work as a shitty propeller and steering will work as a shitty rudder. The idea is that it can do both, not that it's especially good at one or the other.
My dad once drove/boated/floated an old Volkswagen across a flooded road that a pickup truck couldn't cross. A big part of why it worked is that it wasn't weighed down by two tons of batteries.
Buoyancy is a complex equation of density, weight, etc. Its more than just weight.
Maybe that's why Elon's torso is shaped like that
I disagree, anyone with sense knew everything Elon claimed about this thing was a lie.
How could anyone know Elon was lying? His cyber truck windows were unbreakable!!
So....unbreakable windows are actually illegal. They need to be breakable for EMT rescues or emergency escape.
Apparently no one at Tesla had the balls to tell this to Musk but the engineers went ahead and fit proper windows. It's actually quite surprising to hear how little Musk knows about anything.
He is surrounded by yes men
There are rumours of people at his companies to keep Musk occupied and away from the real work.
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A customer also has to activate Free Roll, which leaves the vehicle in Neutral without applying the parking brake.
Oh good, they came up with a stupid new term for something that people know, understand, has been around for well over 50 years.
But this one has to be found in a nested touchscreen menu!
Let us not forget that the goddamn thing can brick if you don't put it in "car wash mode" before going through a car wash. 🤦♂️
That is just… special.
They're also literally death traps.
If the battery pops, starts burning?
You now have to scramble to find the extremely awkward hidden emergency manual door release.
Because the main door handles, both internal and external, are fucking fly by wire, they rely on the electronics, they're not directly mechanical.
Oh and the 'bullet proof glass' that makes up the windows... well its not very bullet proof, but it is significantly harder for a human to break than normal car glass.
Like this guy is unironically lucky he did not drown and also burn to death at the same time.
Yeah i don't get it. Like, if you can't even give your car a standard, everyday wash without it either bricking or rusting, and there are stories of people being fucking trapped in them due to electronics failures, why the ever loving fuck would you drive it into a goddamn lake you fucking troglodyte?!
Take that, libs
Surely this didn't just happen. Surely the article is from checks image... hmm, yesterday you say. Well.... I, uh, yeah.
Maybe the guy was feeling trapped in his lease and saw an opportunity to break it and sue Tesla for false advertising?
I really don't think any car ever has been as rock solid of indicator of 'I am a mentally impaired douchebag with far more money than sense'.
Like... sure, pick your class of car that's just wildly unnecessary, pick your brand of car that's actually notorious for incredible maintenance costs, pick your model of car that's just plauged by recalls...
Cybertruck trumps everything as the ultimate poser douchebag vehicle.
You don't actually wash your car every day do you?
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Jimmy Jack McDaniel
Yep.
Dude is so close to being named after 3 fast food chains
Jack McDaniels serves what I like to call an Unhappy Meal
Yuuuupp.
I never thought I'd see three first names like this. Wild.
Right after release, firefighters failed to rescue a woman, Angela Chao, from a cybertruck which rolled into a pond killing her.
Fun fact, most articles about this appear to have been removed from search indexes, it was difficult to find on both DuckDuckGo and Google, and Google's AI summary will claim there is no record of a cybertruck killing a billionaire.
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She was blind drunk
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It was a model X.
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She backed into the pond and was so wasted she couldn't get out
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You can easily see the archived news stories.
Angela Chao: Shipping billionaire intoxicated when she drowned in Tesla, police report shows https://share.google/H3HEeqbX5FHw9EfUS
Lemmy is as bad as Facebook.
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"Jimmy Jack McDaniel" well well well, if it isn't the man with three first names. (I know I'm stretching on McDaniel but c'mon this guy is the posterchild for stupid decisions)
Well it's an amphibious exploring vehicle, so it should be fine
DETROLƼ
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