Wrong community. Rule 5. Locking.
Ask Lemmy
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depends on what you mean by "private." when you run your own server, you by default have access to all the backend information on the server, since you're the admin.
anyone who joins yours will not have privacy in respect to you, because you'll be able to see what they do on the backend.
just as any other person's server you join will see your activity.
I think they mean more in the sense that not all regular users automatically have access to the community.
I don't know if that is possible. If it is, it'd have to be local to that instance only, or accept that other admins would be able to see what goes on.
I believe that is correct as far as lemmy goes. The AP protocol is open by nature, but there may be a private implementation —I'm not sure.
There are several Discord-like projects, but I don't think they are federated.