Just remember this guy is a scapegoat. The real evil dudes got away Scot free... As they always do
this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2026
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He should go for longer
More reasons to stay away from crypto. So unstable you can be convicted of fraud even accidently
He's just fried now
He defrauded the wealthy that's why he's not getting away with it easily.
Yep,mhe committed the worst sin imaginable: Stole from the wealthy.
Now throw away the key.
Fucked over too many rich people to get off scot free.
You can steal from regular people no problem, but he fucked up and decided to steal from the rich. Straight to jail.
Imagine what would happen if too many rich people started fucking over normal people... oh wait.
Nevermind.
!Spoiler alert!<
Enjoy your time in prison
White collar, minimum security. I am sure he won't have the gishlane service package but he will be alright. Also he will be up for parole soon enough and then be released.
I guess this is why he's trying to get a presidential pardon.
He really shoulda bought himself an island. Or a leather jacket and sold snake oil. One of those.
You have to hand it to NVidia. People only have two complaints about their products: that they cost too much and are constantly sold out.
You can buy a pardon from the president for pretty cheap. I'm surprised he's not already pardoned.
He may have missed the window where the president was cognitively capable of signing his own name. He's already regressed to child like babbling, tantrums, and shittng his pants.
Didn't know he was friends with Hercule Poirot
Let's see here... we just take your time served ... apply some creative math with some leverage and we'll have you out in a ji....
It won't stick, but it's a good start.
In a few years all of the boomers will start dying in mass numbers. Think of them as meat shields. Their inheritances will get spread out amongst many bastards and at least one of them won't stand for this shit anymore.
You kidding? Boomer wealth is going to go to assisted living care and then run out. All that wealth is going straight to CEOs and the Epstein class
I like how you two speak of Boomer wealth as it is more than just the top ten% greedy fuckers that exist in any generation. How astute and profound! What thinkers you are. Yeah, I'm a broke Boomer that is offended by your general brush strokes. Hey! Look over there! All the Lithuanians are wearing striped socks! All of them!
I like how you think of wealth solely in terms of money. That's just a number in a database.
There's a lot of houses owned by boomers and the housing market is insanely expensive. When all of those houses go on the market, people might be able to afford to buy a house again. Owning a house is wealth.
Enjoy your time in prison
SBF really did dress for the job he wanted, not the one he had.
Did he...start doing heroin? His arms look really really unhealthy.
don't worry, they're gonna get a workout jerkin all those dicks in prison.
Well, I hope he likes prison.