this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 113 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I feel like this is the kind of thing that only happens when you take these items out of your own shopping cart, put them on a shelf and then take a picture of them and post to the internet like "Ha ha guys, isn't this so bizarre?"

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 56 points 1 month ago

They’re even perfectly arranged on the shelf.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

No.....I've seen people like this. They take stuff out of their cart, put on the closest shelf, and walk off.

When I was a kid, I'd pick it up, throw it at them, and yell "YOU FORGOT THIS!!!"

I'd always try to aim for the torso. I wanted to hit their head, but I have bad aim. One time I did hit them in the head. Can of green beans. They came over to yell at me, and them my mom got in her face about yelling at her son. Meanwhile I'm behind my moms back making faces.

Then my mom asked "Were you actually throwing things at her?" I said yes. She asked why. I said because she left her mess for someone else to clean. She then told me I had the right idea, but I can't throw stuff at people. I said "Actually I can. Hit her right in the back of the head!"

She just shook her head and said "Not what I meant...."

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Something about the way of writing made me, honestly, for a moment, think that your dad was gonna show up and beat you with a set of jumper cables.

[–] West_of_West@piefed.social 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's where my mind went too

[–] Sprinks@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

It reads how my toddler nephew speaks.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Nah. Regardless of time of day my dad would have been drunk somewhere. Maybe at home. Maybe at work. Maybe driving between the two.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

RogerSimon10?

As someone who thinks the world would be a better place without little shits chucking cans of green beans at people's heads I'm shaking my head, but my inner former retail worker is cheering for the (possibly made up for a joke) little shit with the impressive aim.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] bzLem0n@lemmy.ca 53 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

The sponges, gloves, Pringles can, and lotion go together to make a DIY fleshlight, apparently.

[–] lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Missing the gloves, but still

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Fuck it. I'm living alone, I like pringles. I'm trying this out tomorrow.

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The world is ending you can just buy a toy

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why buy a toy when you can build a partner. Put googly eyes on the pringles man and watch them roll back as he takes it.

[–] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What a horrible day to be literate

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

Well, they wouldn't need to put googly eyes on him, if the company didn't take the joy, and whimsy out of his eyes.

[–] turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A set of $13 silicone fuck rings have me coming like I'm 15 again, highly recommend getting the toys.

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago
[–] Jtee@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Your uhhh, Username checks out.

[–] osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org 10 points 1 month ago

Please report back with the results

[–] Johanno@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The cylinder must not be harmed

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

My dick isn't big enough to harm a pringles can.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Pay close attention to the orientation of those scrubber sponges.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Use name checks out

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Okay, those I get. But the handcuffs? You handcuff Your little sister to the radiator... so she doesn't bother You while you're playing Fortnite, right?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

When I was 5 I handcuffed the neighbor girl behind her back.....then I tickled her.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago
[–] daannii@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That doesn't sound cleanable. Just invest in legit one that can be cleaned. But I guess teenagers can't buy sex toys.

Honestly there should be some sex toys available to teenagers.

Like smaller vibrators. Fleshlights. Cause anything too big could be too risky for kids.

But I feel like teenage libido should be acknowledged and they should be given options.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Okay. I will sit over here, a loooooong way away from you, and let you work. And then you can tell me how making sex toys for teens works out for you.

[–] 666dollarfootlong@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Its not ment to be cleanable, just single use - hence the rubber gloves

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or the wife said yes to the request.

[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ye but if she isn't cool with my Pringles fucknin bet the sex life is cold

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

No no no.......the wife requested the pringles can. Your dick goes inside. You get handcuffed to the bed. She gets more girth, you feel nothing.

Then she plays fortnite while sitting on your face. She uses the lotion to wank you, but stops everytime you get close. Then she gives you the sponges, and you can clean the house.

Not sure what that blurry orange bag is. I'm sure it's kinky.

[–] Cum_Rag@fedinsfw.app 9 points 1 month ago

I guess they needed the latex gloves

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Those who know.....