Me and my mates just hung out in the basement of the one with the least responsible parents.
Did all sorts of nasty shit like D&D, board games and binging movies.
this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2026
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Sounds like those were the most responsible parents. Friends groups that don't have these end up doing heroin instead.
I’m so glad I have my kids in scouts. It’s our third place, and I am now an assistant scoutmaster. I know there is controversy and history but ours is a very progressive troop, has been since its inception (we included girls before it was “allowed” and have a very diverse group of kids and adults).
They are growing up so much more grounded than some I see; being exposed to and relying on each other as they build their community. My oldest is staffing camp this summer, and I’m so proud that he’s making a good impact on so many young people.
Third spaces are hard to find, but find a good one, they make life worth it, they provide perspective and build relationships with people who have shared interests, leading to genuine freindship.
One time when I was biking home from middle school the office got suspicious that I was biking instead of riding home in a car, and they had to keep me in the office and call my parents
That was always been a rule even 20 years ago. If you are designated as a car rider/walker you can’t just change it on a whim. Parents need to call the front office and change it. Yes being both is an option but the front office needs to know.
I can assume it’s to stop predators from telling kids if they ride their bike to school tomorrow they’ll give them money or something. Also if there’s no plan in place no one will know if you get injured or lost. Having an adult waiting for you or waiting on a call to tell them you made it home can be the difference between life and death sometimes.
What the actual fuck?
It won't matter when technology is designed to steal your attention at all times. Corporations help cause this situation by selling products that addict everyone and they're getting damned good at it. How long did it take for social media and entertainment through phones to occupy everyone's day? People spend hours a day not their phones, time that was available for socializing even 15 years ago. You can bring 3rd places back it it's all competing with other attentions grabbers made by billion dollar industries.
This is a pet peeve of mine. Well, more than a peeve.
When I grew up I spent significant time in youth centers, made social connections, formed my music taste and my first band. All away from my parents.
These do not exist anymore around where I live. So where do kids hang out these days? In the mall. It's so fucked up, people glance at them as if they were shop mannequins. And they take the pose, with the chewing gum and the phone. That's no way to spend your free time.
PS: an interesting variation was a Sleeping Space - some folks had formed an association and rented some space for people to hang out, literally: lots of cushions and mattresses, very quiet. It was amazing even though not many people actually slept there.
PPS: free entry and not being asked to leave is what they all had in common.
I went to a Nerf tournament and humans vs. zombies game at a college campus a while back. The Nerf hobby has some interesting intersections. On the one hand, there are some legitimately competitive teams who drill and practice and have standardized uniforms and blasters and everything, so there's some organized sports types in there. On the other hand, it overlaps with the gun hobby, seeing as it's playing at being a gun fight, and it uses a lot of the same accessories. On the other other hand, it seems to be a very queer-friendly hobby; definitely a lot of flags being represented that weekend.
All of these disparate groups had a great time with each other. Huge range of demographics, all having good wholesome fun, making new friends, using their bodies and their minds, expressing themselves while also respecting the rules and structures of the game and the college campus. It was beautiful.
At the end of the weekend, the college Nerf club, which had been running these events on campus for years, came out and tearfully announced that this would be the last such event, because the college administration had announced there would be no further blaster events permitted on campus. Nobody got hurt that weekend, but presumably the administration was afraid of getting sued if someone did.
And just like that, a beautiful mechanism for bringing together lots of strangers and making them into friends and comrades disappeared in a whiff of imaginary liability for a theoretical accident that hadn't actually happened.
And we wonder why young people are addicted to social media and video games.
Almost every interesting kind of public event like that is going away due to liability issues. Liability insurance is going through the roof, and the insurance companies are forcing places to stop doing events.
So let’s get rid of insurance companies. They are all a scam anyway.
Name and shame?
University of Maryland, Baltimore County
Bring back unsupervised third spaces that you don’t tell your parents about.
That’s where you build character.
And find porn.
The very concept of unsupervised kids is so anathema to society today. Kids need spaces to just be kids.
Summer camp - the overnight, week or two long kind, is a great middle ground. Yes, kids are "supervised". But... Mostly, just by bigger kids. Who are there, mostly to have fun too. Run, play, swim, learn about themselves and other people. My boys both spent every summer for 12+ years at camp. And they always grew, so, so much while they were there.
When I was a kid, sex ed was bush porn. In any patch of urban common land you'd find these little jazz mags under the bushes. I guess they just grew on the bushes, you could tell when they weren't ripe yet if some of the pages didn't open
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Like malls, parks, the skate park?
arcades, bowling alleys and skating rinks.
coffee shops, record stores, hobby shops.
All with plenty of “NO LOITERING” and “CUSTOMERS ONLY” signs to min-max value extraction.
These places kind of still exist, just they all require that you spend money. The landlords have gotten out of control so no one can afford to not constantly be charging money for these kinds of spaces, so they just keep going out of business
The newest bowling ally here charges per person, per minute. So you but like 30min-1hr not even a full game. So the more people the worse the value 🙄
Sucks because at parties often running out of time around the 8th or 9th frame.
Rec centers, pools, and under 18 clubs.
I would also really like to see a governmental permit office that distributes permit numbers on demand which can be used for age verification without revealing ANY information about the person verifying to ANY private entities.
I want to see this in a bunch of countries.
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I don't want to fix anyone's social media addiction. I want to bitch about kids on social media and feel like a genius
But where will I park my car and how will those places make money, that's America today
I work at a museum and our director has started using the term third space to justify a finacialization of our non-profit. Be mindful of how the term is being used by capitalists to extract more resources.
If spending money is required, it's not a third space, full stop.
Just, giving them a future to believe in might help too.
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