this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
387 points (97.8% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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(is it just me, or should the first two be swapped?)

top 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] HairEater@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 hour ago

"Is the police" got me

[–] raspirate@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Guess it's time I learned how to grill seitan.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Yeah I'm thinking to myself "well that's wrong but also maybe I should learn what that is. Hail Satan"

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)
[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

"Fliiiint, noooo! Your burgers are getting too biiiiig."

[–] RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

The 2nd one needs to "chill out" because he's carefully shaving where he doesn't want beard.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 hours ago

What's "Call the police"? That looks like a Jazz musician to me, who would also say "fuck the police". If "Call the police" is someone who is afraid of things and most likely to want help from the police, I'd say that's the clean shaven look.

To me, it's managers and execs who are easily scared and want protection from the cops. That's a look I associate with a suit and tie, a short haircut with a side part, and completely shaved facial hair.

Please call the police!

[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 81 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

They forgot one

(Best I can do lol)

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 11 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Scoliosis? I hardly knoliosis!

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Is that where his back problems originate? Oh shit. That poor dude.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

No. I deliberately spread false information for the purpose of humor.
He hurt it moving furniture in a previous job where he moved furniture.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I don't trust you anymore. Something tells me you're up to no good!

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 2 points 27 minutes ago

backs away slowly

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 18 points 10 hours ago

Amazing! Haha

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 32 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Beard with no mustache

Takes their religion way too seriously

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 hours ago

Serves them right for being fundies

(Jk)

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 27 points 9 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 1 points 56 minutes ago

How does one live under a mountain?

[–] HuePony@lemmy.ml 4 points 5 hours ago

Rock and Stone!

[–] GenderNeutralBro 20 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

(is it just me, or should the first two be swapped?)

I think the intent is that the first one is "chill" because it's the lowest-effort approach for someone who doesn't want a beard but can't be arsed to keep fully clean-shaven. This guy doesn't care that much, but probably shaves 1-2 times per week or uses an electric shaver to keep himself presentable.

The second is a more intentional style. It takes more effort to maintain stubble on your face and also clean lines than either a full beard or the "chill" guy's style. This guy is probably doing daily maintenance on the lines as well as buzzing down the stubble regularly. So it's less "chill" because it's higher-effort.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

IMO, number 2 is something like this:

Maximum effort trimmed beard

Something that requires daily, maybe even hourly maintenance to keep the lines perfectly straight and clean.

[–] RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Hourly? That's a rookie schedule.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 7 points 10 hours ago

You're right, I think I just misread the captions as if it was a progression from least to most chill on that row. I've had my caffeine now, lol

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

This alignment chart is all over the place. ACAB in Lawful Evil? Hailing Satan in Lawful Neutral? Police in Chaotic Evil?

[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Police in chaotic evil i can at least understand, but the ACABs need to be chaotic good

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Personally, I'd think cops should be in Lawful Evil. Yes they act erratically and shoot anything that moves, but their job is literally the law

[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 4 points 9 hours ago

I personally would put the cops into neutral evil, because they are mainly interested into pushing their own agenda, the law comes second.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

The best and easiest to do. Shaving few times a year, when mandatory is the best approach.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 hours ago

My facial hair is a result of my being absolutely unwilling to shave every single day. To me, that's just too much of a pain in the ass. Even a high-maintenance beard is lower maintenance than that, because if you skip a day nobody will notice.