Heh. Hopefully.

Get some help, my friend. I have found the darkness of depression to be a false darkness. Life can be pretty good, we want you to be there for yours.

The hell are you staying with her for? You've got one fucking life. Get yourself away from that toxicity and maybe you'll find life isn't that bad after all.

Damn that's not ok. You deserve friendship and warmth. You might have to work for it, but still

There's still time to make new friends, you just have to discover new places or try to talk with people you never talked much. If you are unhappy with your marriage, you two might possibly need some marriage counseling. An unhappy marriage can make things worse my friend. That's what I learnt from my dad all these years.

Some people vanish because they struggle with life. Maybe that's not relateable for everyone, but sometimes people do not have the energy to maintain friendships. There is nothing that you can do on your end but there also is nothing they can do on their end.

From addictions to mental crisis, autoimmune disease or chronic pain there is so much that can suck a person dry. Also all kinds of family and relationship issues.

Sometimes the difference between the friends these people still have contact with and those who they don't have contact with comes down to marginal differences like living close by and crossing ways regularly.

I am that friend that vanished that you are describing.

In my case, I tried talking to the friend that bothered me ( an unmedicated ADHD alcoholic mess of a friend) he told me to fuck off.

I even stopped hanging out with my old group of friends that involved this guy that I described because it became this: male anger space to vent off, suicide jokes, complain about work, glorify alcohol, try out different types of drugs. No, thank you, I don't want to do a live action of Rick n Morty.

There is no talking with a group where everyone decided to stay together on a shitty decision. I tried once and they got really angry and made me the wrong one for going to the gym, waking up early, quitting alcohol, etc.

I still keep in touch from afar and now, almost 10 years later, some of them are saying " yeah, the doctor told me to drop the alcohol", " yeah now I found the right meds for me and I aint as angry"

Everybody goes at their own pace, but expecting other friends to stay with you during this journey is ludicrous.

I went my way and although it hurt, sometimes its the best thing you can do for your mental health and integrity

Yes!!! This is the double edged sword of loneliness. We're also behaving in ways that self-select ourselves out of relationships. And relationships dont have such a powerful draw, but social health maintains the lonely feeling.

As they should if you're going to be a parent that's worth a damn. You sir, seem to be worth a damn.

You'll be in for a surprise when the kids have grown up and are leaving to live their own lives. Happens faster than you might think and after that you might end up having neither kids nor friends.

Just a friendly hint from an old fart who has been through all that

I told myself I would stay in touch with my friends no matter what. I lost exactly one after kids: my childhood best friend. Turns out he couldn't handle being second to my wife (another childhood friend) and my kids. It was a pretty close second, and I even told him he's the brother I never had and let him stay with us rent free for a bit.

He didn't like that I couldn't just run off on any of his spontaneous plans and just left our home and even our friend group entirely.

All my other friends understand and we put together a Discord community and some game servers for when we can't get together. I really appreciate my guys, and now that my kids have a few years on them I have a bit more freedom. My wife is great about helping me spend time with them.

Caretaker gene: activated. One vessel decays. The next takes its place.

But you do get some really deep, like primal, relationships out of it. So there are worse trades.

Well, how did I get here?

Same but with no woman either.. 😞

I some how managed to make friends for the first time in my life since elementary school. Noticeable improvement in mood. Still no GF.

Naah. Quality over quantity goes for many people, without any neurodivergence as prerequirement.

A friend from highschool, that is more of an aquaintance today always throws huge parties with 50+ guests and he does many things with his flatmates/uni colleagues and other groups. Still when i get to see him at his parties he's always running around talking to different people, but with an expression of loneliness in his face.

I like to think of friends on a spectrum of fair weather-bad weather. Fair weather friends are the people who are the most hilarious to hang out with, throw parties or go out. But they tend not to show up, or genuinely care, when you are down. Bad weather friends are people you might not have the best fit in terms of activities or world view or other stuff, that makes friendships easy going. But they stick out for you, if the need arises.

I prefer one bad weather friend, i see once in a blue-moon over ten good weather friends i see every week.

that's just introversion

sounds like Grog has good life

Starlink brings decent internet anywhere, but at a hefty price.