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[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 140 points 1 year ago

That took me a dystopian amount of time to realize it was the onion...

[-] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago

They got me too for a few moments.

[-] Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago

What's a "dystopian amount of time"?

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago

An amount of time that would only be expected if you're living in a dystopia.

[-] XTornado@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Idk if I were living a dystopia I would quickly assume is true because is a dystopia. The issue is now that are in-between.

[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Haha. I thought the same at first. Sounds about par tor the course.

[-] java@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Same. This is what makes this one brilliant.

[-] Blackout@kbin.social 43 points 1 year ago

I wonder where he got that money to buy that food too. Probably from the pockets of a poor billionaire 😢

[-] don@lemm.ee 40 points 1 year ago

That’s what they get for showing up to work all fed and shit. Bet they’re the types of people who try to eat during working hours. Scum.

[-] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If she was so hungry then why didn't she die ?

Freaking fakers.

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

You have been promoted to Shift Supervisor

[-] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago

Amazon's such a shit company that I believed it, it wasn't until I scrolled and noticed the onion logo that I worked it out.

[-] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I ate the Onion at first on this one too.

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Damn employees, digesting instead of working.

[-] sadreality@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Food was purchased outside of the company store

This I could actually see happening. Or make it such a food desert that it's unthinkable to even try

[-] semi_sentient@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

I read somewhere that company towns are starting to make a comeback. It’s only a matter of time until rentals are contingent upon you patronizing their brands.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

We need human extinction or a new new deal...

I don't even care which anymore

[-] paddirn@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Next they’ll start testing to make sure they still have urine in their bodies when they clock out, no taking any bathroom breaks on the clock!

[-] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

This isn't too far from reality, it seems.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Given that this is the same company that makes people pee in bottles and keeps them after hours without pay... yeah not big surprise.. actually it is a big surprise... given that this is just satire

this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
691 points (98.6% liked)

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