You are not fat, you are bulking, keep doing that
(Ronnie Coleman's voice) LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!!
Would it be weird to ask if she wants to workout with you if she feels so insecure?
Just tell her it's going to the right places. My wife gained weight during pregnancy but she's hot as hell still, that's what I tell her.
Remind her of how big her hugs are now.
Are you solutions-oriented about it or in the feelings stage?
"no, you're thicc"... then explain to her it's the most popular body type by today's beauty standards... which fluctuates and health and happiness are all that matters... and youd love her if she was a brain in a jar, but she happens to be really hot... something like that
also, get an Australian Cattle Dog... that'll force ya'll to be more active...
Making beeping noises when she backs up
Whatever you say you'll be wrong. If your answer is "You are not!" then she will blame you "You are not looking at me at all. Am i not pretty for you?" If your answer is "Yes you are!" then you are screwed. If your answer will be silence then she will do the same as the answer would be "Yes you are!" but she will add... you are a coward.
Start singing and dancing to “Fat” by Weird Al. Bonus points if you have a few friends with you to recreate the moves in the music video.
"It's been a weird few months. I'm going to work on eating better if you want to join me."
You ain't, but join the gym to keep it like that.
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