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submitted 11 months ago by nobloat@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!

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[-] farcaster@lemmy.world 128 points 11 months ago

"I don't think so but if you want us to eat healthier and get more exercise I'm game"

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[-] grue@lemmy.world 106 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Might as well ask Lemmy how to pass the Kobayashi Maru test, while you're at it.

[-] Im_old@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago

Might be a tricky example. The answer to that according to a certain cadet is to cheat. Not sure gf would appreciate that.

[-] Strayce 13 points 11 months ago

I always liked Calhoun's solution. Obliterate the Maru. It's either a trap or it's not. If it is, you don't want to leave it there for someone else to fall for. If it's not, you don't want to leave it there to cause a diplomatic incident, and fiery plasma death is probably better than whatever the Klingons / Romulans would do to the crew.

Of course, I don't recommended launching a full spread of photon torpedoes at your gf.

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[-] orhtej2@eviltoast.org 79 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Tell her the truth (as I understand it you don't think she's fat), but also ask why she's asking in the first place. Offer some support if she wants to lose some weight.

I think open and honest discussion is the best approach here because now you're jus guessing what the real issue is.

[-] nobloat@lemmy.ml 34 points 11 months ago

I think it's due to comments from people. She was underweight before because she hardly ate anything. She's now much better than before but people keep mentioning how she changed. It's really dumb when people keep commenting about your appearance, but I gets to her sometimes. The same people were telling her she needs to gain weight before. ( we are in a developing country where these comments are sadly so normalized)

[-] flooppoolf@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I see that the comments are geared towards bigger bodies trying to lose weight.

Your case is special. Food scarcity / eating disorders are very different from American lifestyles if you want to call them that. Emphasize your support and how much healthier y’all are in the present and will be in the future.

I hope it all goes well.

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[-] iamtrashman1312@lemmy.world 70 points 11 months ago

"You callin my girl fat you piece of shit?!"

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[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 70 points 11 months ago

What do you expect? Your mom was fat and as you grow older you're becoming her.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago
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[-] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
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[-] TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world 67 points 11 months ago
[-] notun@lemmy.world 47 points 11 months ago

"Is that what we're gonna do today, we gonna fight?"

[-] hydrospanner@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago

"Have you tried eating less than a metric fuckton of junk at every meal, ya goddamn ham planet?!"

That'll work.

[-] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago

You have to rebuke her. For real. Go like this:

" Don't you dare! I love this lovely girl here. Don't you dare badmouth her or you'll have to deal with me! "

(and not a word about fat or weight or width or any outside descriptions, because this is only about self deprecation)

[-] xigoi 32 points 11 months ago

“Phew! I thought you were pregnant.”

[-] wesker 32 points 11 months ago
[-] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 8 points 11 months ago

It’s over OP, she has the high ground.

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[-] willya@lemmyf.uk 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

“It’s all in your ass tho and I’m an ass man.”

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[-] Shirasho@lemmings.world 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

"Even if you have gained weight you still look beautiful. If you feel you need to lose weight let me know if there is anything I can do to help."

[-] kamenlady@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Very thin ice

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[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 11 months ago

After having some nice intimate time, during the quiet afterglow, ask her how her self esteem has been lately. Maybe she's feeling down and wants to talk about it.

Once her feelings are in the open it will be easier to feel out a solution.

[-] Cuberoot@lemmynsfw.com 19 points 11 months ago

Well it isn't mine. I had a vasectomy.

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[-] Xanis@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

My partner flat asked if I still find her as attractive as I used to. After some thought I said the following, "I don't think that's fair. You're asking me to rate someone I care about so much. I don't want to do that. I love you and just want to be there for you, with you."

Tbh, I don't know what the right answer might be for others. I'm not that wise. All I know for certain is how I feel and hoped that was enough. It was, though I am sad that I can't take her self-esteem and tear away those damn chains that hold it back from growing.

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[-] highrfrequenc@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

I don't know what you're talking about. Get naked and let's have a closer look.

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[-] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 15 points 11 months ago

"I know a trap when I see one"

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[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

“I want you to be happy with your body, if you need me to reassure you about how attractive you are I can, or if you want me to support you with changing your weight I can. I love you and your body”

At least that’s basically where I go as a woman with a healthy weight but body image issues for not being underweight and a wife who gained a lot of weight over the pandemic and a girlfriend who is in the “needs to lose weight for her health” range.

[-] KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Just say "you're absolutely gorgeous, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

[-] morphballganon@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

"I said I was fat, not ugly."

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

I am hung up about weight like this. Spent so long on the far side of skinny that smack in the middle of healthy makes me feel I look fat. I do say I am fat, I know objectively that is not true but I miss being too skinny. Just venting really.

I think just say that she is built great now, and you like it, but it's her body. She probably isn't worried that YOU think she's fat. She is bothered because SHE thinks she's fat.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Slam your fist on the counter and shout " I'm fatter, dammit!"

[-] eldrichhydralisk 9 points 11 months ago

First, try to understand what's actually being said here. Sometimes I call myself fat because I'm above my target weight. But in my case my self-esteem is just fine: I'm a former gym rat who knows where I am, what I need to do to get back in shape, and that I'm still okay if I don't get there. Saying "I'm fat" is a light jab at myself and a reminder to take steps toward my goals, nothing to worry about.

If your GF is calling herself fat more hurtfully (which is sadly common) the issue is not how fat she is or isn't. That's just a symptom. The issue is whatever negative feeling is prompting her to tear herself down. Arguing with her about whether she's actually fat won't help with that, and might even do more harm than good. Maybe ask her how she's doing, remind her that you love her just the way she is.

[-] erusuoyera@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

"Hi Fat, I'm nobloat!"

[-] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Bring that fat ass to daddy's face then!

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[-] morphballganon@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Tilt your head down to her stomach and coo "om nom nom" playfully

[-] jtk 8 points 11 months ago

Ham on. Ham on. Ham on whole wheat, all right.

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[-] flooppoolf@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

This is a canon event, we may not intervene.

In all truthfulness, this caused a major rift in my past relationship and I’d love to see how it panned out for others.

[-] DudemanJenkins@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

"I love all of you"

[-] Beelzebob@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

"No, you look fucking awesome."

[-] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

IT'S A TRAP! I don't have an answer. I just want to wish you the best.

[-] acetanilide@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Whatever you do, don't reply "not that fat"

[-] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

"Fuck I love your curves"

Or ask if they want a back rub. Gets you out of alot.

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this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
167 points (93.7% liked)

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