Kcap

I own a bar and before we opened I reached out to one of those novelty vending machine companies that sells weird stuff and gags. The guy came down to meet to discuss the design of the machine etc, super nice guy. His daughter came too, she was an artist and was going to paint the machine. They sent mockups and got to work, everything seemed good to go ahead of our opening.

A week before we open, I reach out to see when they want to install it and I get no reply. I try again a few days later and get a very formal message to the effect of "we're super sorry but we're not going to be able to pursue this opportunity at this time, best of luck". I'm pissed that time was wasted, the machine was finished, I had seen final pictures with our logo and design etc. I figured maybe they got some bigger offer from like the local stadium to install a machine that they couldn't pass up.

Months go by, I've found another company that's working on a new machine for us. Original guy texts me "hey, are you at the bar, I'd love to stop by and explain what happened." I start to tell a customer at the bar about what happened and I'm like, I don't wanna talk to this guy in my mind, and I look up, and he's standing outside the bar in the rain. He comes in, and he looks like he's been to hell and back.

He's so different this time, very soft spoken, tail between his legs vibes. He apologizes and said they had a family issue that prevented them from moving forward, but they working on getting back on track. I feel bad and trying to be empathetic, and then the guy goes, "I'm sorry, but my wife just didn't want me working with you because of David."

"Who the fuck is David?" I reply. "David Devolla" he says. I have no idea who he's talking about. I've never met his wife, or this David person. Then he goes "wait, can I ask you a weird question? Are you straight?" "Yeah man..."

"GOD DAMNT, SHE DID IT AGAIN" he said. I'm so confused right now. He then proceeds to tell me that his wife has been battling psychosis and having major mental issues. Apparently, this David guy was her former boss that fired her, and even though I've never met her, or David, and am straight, she was convinced I was having a secret gay affair with David and told her husband he wasn't allowed to do business with me. What the actual fuck. Dude started creeping me out big time. He came in again a week later and told me he was driving to Vegas the next morning to marry his wife because even though he said they were married, they never actually were, and he believed doing so would fix her mental state. I follow them on Instagram still and I can tell you, it did not. She posts the absolute weirdest nonsensical things and it's honestly entertaining to watch but also sad as hell. Bullet dodged, the new company is so so much better, but yikes all around. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Toast your bagels whole! Sprinkle a little water on the exterior of the bagel and then pop it in the oven. The crust will be crispy, but the interior will be a steamy almost gooey consistency. It's such a better experience than it being all dried out and crunchy atop. Trust.

Imagine Dragons, ugh, music designed for car commercials and 8th graders, fucking rip my ear drums out.

I can't believe they didn't make a second Superbad. The plot line wrote itself. Seth goes to visit Evan and Fogel one weekend at Dartmouth. The cops have been fired and are now working as lowly campus security officers. Hi-jinks ensue. Call it Superbadder. Boom done.

It is really good. I make it from scratch sometimes,basivally foccacia with a thick and flavorful tomato goop on top. It's super rich with a lot of olive oil in the recipe, but for me it's the garlic, red pepper, and sugar that make the dish what it is. No cheese required here.

I wish so badly it was one of those times they just changed the font background color thinking that would do the trick and we could all really see what they were hiding

I enjoy getting a quart of egg nog once a year. I truly only crave it once a year because it's so heavy and overpowering flavor-wise, but once a year it's perfect.

I'm surprised he didn't insist his face be on one of the sides

Zombocom

I recommend Zombocom

That's just one of the many things you can do at Zombocom

Oui Oui, on my face...