In the video essay I previously posted - what even IS hierarchy? - by AnRel, AnRel(they/she) claims that there are (among others) prescriptive and descriptive hierarchies in non-monogamous relationship networks. From what I understood:
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Prescriptive means things like primary/secondary, marriage etc where one relationship might have power over the other relationship via agreements, enforcing rules, vetos etc. This seemingly results in a hierarchy that works through power (one of the 3 main components of hierarchy they propose)
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Descriptive means putting current structures of relating into words, kinda describing what the current state is (like "I have 2 anchor partners, I spend X amount of time with them, one is also my nesting partner, I also have a comet)" so people are able to choose if they want to enter a relationship with these existing dynamics. They argue, that there is still a hierarchy in play, this time on the axis of priority (another on of the 3 main components of hierarchy they propose). So some relationships have prioritized access to ressources / time / attention etc.
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The part of the video I am talking about starts at 14:30
AnRel seemed to be opposed to both kinds of hierarchy. While I can easily understand and actively try to dismantle the first one, the second one - "descriptive hierarchy" - is something I can see in my, its hard for me to see how its a negative / authoritarian thing. I struggle to see ways to dismantle it, how it would look without this kind of "ranking of priorities" and how I & my relationship would benefit from it.
Anyone here has some experience to share / opinions on this?
Hey thanks for compiling this and starting a discussion and/or highlighting this issue, I hope to get back to that after I looked through your links. In general I feel like discussions around creator responsibilty, having a huge platform with lots of funding etc. are something kinda lacking in the online spaces I frequent. I think on twitter/mastodon/bluesky there is way more of this.
In the meantime I think it would be helpful for you to write / describe the key points (or link to a summary) you wanted to share. This might make it easier to fully understand your post and what you want to convey in a more accessible way, especially because Lemmy mostly is seems to be mostly text based.
EDIT: Managed to watch parts of the first and second video you linked. I learned new things and recommend others to watch them too. Its pretty instructive to have takes / statements of influencal breadtubers recontextualized and kinda picked apart