Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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The Republican president has previously referred to fallen American service personnel as “suckers” and “losers.” He has never served in the military, having in fact dodged the Vietnam War draft on five occasions. The last of those owed to a bone spur diagnosis. It’s a condition that usually affects elderly individuals. He was 22 at the time.

Trump has similarly threatened to invade U.S. allies Panama, Canada, Colombia, Mexico, and Greenland, which is an autonomous territory of Denmark, a fellow NATO member.

The MAGA president’s growing, campaign-promise-busting appetite for military engagement also comes amid his bitter disappointment at being passed over for last year’s Nobel Peace Prize, despite a concerted public and private push by his allies. It was previously awarded to his Democratic predecessor, President Barack Obama.

In a letter regarding that snub, Trump wrote to Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre in January that “considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace.”

The Norwegian government is not affiliated with the Nobel Committee, which decides independently to whom it will grant its awards. Trump’s claim to have stopped eight wars remains highly disputed.

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North Carolina’s Michael Phillips revealed that he had a 0.38in member in bid to reduce stigma of the condition

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game recognizes game

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in other defense news U.S. Army announced secretive 'Darker Eagle' Hyperersonic missile system.

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For months, callers to the Washington state Department of Licensing who have requested automated service in Spanish have instead heard an AI voice speaking English in a strong Spanish accent. The agency has since apologized and says it’s trying to fix the problem.

AI is putting threatening to put The Onion out of business, not because The Onion articles can be written by AI, rather AI has just made this kind of satire nearly obsolete. The Onion is forced to retreat into existential screaming into the void humor, which they have done magnificently in the face of an unstoppable foe. The Onion will prevail and outlive AI though, mark my words!

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“These agencies will continue to work on increased cooperation and communication to prevent such incidents in the future.”

Now THAT is how you turn a lose into a win on your performance review!

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Crossposted from https://lemmy.world/post/43618912

Varoufakis, now secretary of the small leftist party Mera25, is due to appear in court in December.

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“There’s thinking in and around the administration that the politics are a lot better if the Israelis go first and alone and the Iranians retaliate against us, and give us more reason to take action,” one of the sources told Politico under the condition of anonymity.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/43623304

Optional textbook contains factual and punctuation errors, and images with licensing or copyright issues

A Bible-infused curriculum that Texas approved for public schools over pushback in 2024 will undergo corrections to fix hundreds of errors caught by teachers and education officials after the material was introduced to classrooms.

The curriculum in what is known as the “Bluebonnet” textbook is among Republican-led efforts in the US to incorporate more religious teaching into classrooms. Designed by the state’s public education agency, it is optional for schools to adopt, though they receive additional funding if they do so.

Bluebonnet was approved over concerns from religious scholars that the reading lessons favored Christianity over other faith traditions and pushback from advocacy groups that the materials inappropriately prioritized preaching over teaching.

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