this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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BIGGER AND MORE PRIDEFUL THAN EVER BEFORE trans-ferret trans-hydra

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[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Whenever I feel like I'm "faking it" I just think of all the hexbears who feel the same way, and then the feeling dissolves.

This place is powerful

[โ€“] kristina@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

cat-trans ape together strong

[โ€“] Mousy@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The "faking it" feeling was very much something i felt when i first learned i was trans. So much so that for the first couple of months i tried to supress any thoughts about being trans and just tried to be cis which just felt awful.

[โ€“] kristina@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Honestly I sometimes feel normal and good 10+ years on and I suddenly begin to think I'm faking it now. Hilarious. I feel normal cause most of my shit is done

[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

It's normal to like you're faking it when nothing feels natural, I think. That changes over time (I'm sure)

[โ€“] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe this might work for you? If you feel like you're faking it, list every single other trans person out there who you also think is faking it. Chances are, you're the one and only trans person out there who your doubt in their authenticity. So congrats, you're the one and only fake trans person. You're on hormones wishing for a beautiful transition but actually you're just faking it unlike the REAL trans people. Now go out and scream from the rooftops "I'M THE WORLD'S ONLY FAKE TRANS PERSON"

Now of course the idea of you being the one and only fake trans person is so completely absurd that I can't honestly believe it, and I go back to thinking that yes, I'm trans. idk if that would work for you but it's worth a shot

[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! Cognitive techniques like this are really helpful.

Actually, I've had a lot of success with just dropping labels entirely. At the moment, I don't use the terms trans, woman, or man to describe myself.

Instead of thinking, I'm a woman, so please use she/her pronouns. I say, I like she/her pronouns so please use them. Instead of thinking, I'm trans so I should do voice training, I think, I would like a softer voice, so I want to do voice training.

In this way, there's no standard that I can fail to embody. Can't be a faker if there's nothing to fake think-about-it

[โ€“] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

based. labels are cringe and i reflexively distrust anyone who likes them. i don't like using labels for myself either even when they completely fit because they're cringe

[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

I'm with you, but I think we should be accommodating towards the people who do like them

For many, they couldn't even conceive of what they're going through until there's a word for. It can bring a feeling of safety and grounding.

[โ€“] Luna@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Realizing I was not alone in what I saw as "strange" feelings helped me realize they weren't so strange.

[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Exactly. Queer lit has also been a game changer in this regard

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, you've reached quantum levels of queer agony-shrooms hexbear-pride centrist

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

utterly offtopic lolI had a bunch of really splendid thoughts when I was reading The Masker (yes again) (I am only a lil sorry) that I was able to engage with it in a much healthier fashion now that I have deleted binary gender from myself, and do not cling to it for validity, that was really unhealthy for me. I'd post about this more but The Masker is kinda cursed agony-acid

[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

on topic

I had a bunch of really splendid thoughts when I was reading The Masker

That's good!

The Masker is kinda cursed

Yeah, the subject matter seems raw. Back when I was Totally Cis (tm), I "came across" sissy porn, and even back then, I was like "wow, this is kind of fucked up and misogynistic."

The idea that being feminine is inherently sexual really fucked me up and kept me from transition for a long time because I was terrified at the idea that I was playing out a fetish. I'm over it now, but there are still echoes. This is why I will avoid the book lol.

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

waow!Care-Comrade

Probably a good plan lol

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"In Praise of the Weird Genders" was an alltime fucking banger bridget-pride

[โ€“] Thallo@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

hyperflush

I was having a total mental breakdown at the time I posted that. Happy that something good came out of it!