Luna

joined 10 months ago
[–] Luna@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Nothing. It's just gone. Reduced to atoms...

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

I expect nothing less, but they always surprise me reddit-logo

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago
[–] Luna@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I went with a lighter purple. Did it mostly okay, but I bumped one of my nails into something later today and one of them chipped. Literally the oooaaaaaaauhhh, but they still look great! I also love shiny red, my sister has a really nice red that she let me use once, and I was just in awe of the color, it was so perfect in a way doggirl-grin

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (9 children)

I painted my nails (was definitely not reminded to do so by one of you ;)) and I'm honestly impressed with myself! It's not the best, but it's not bad either, especially considering that I really struggle with fine motor function. Autism strikes again, but HAHA I still win. I'm like 7 months in, have had my nails painted since before I transitioned, and this is the first time I have painted them myself. I feel really proud, like it's one more thing I can do for myself doggirl-happy

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

name update (this body of text became way more than the name update)So update from a few months ago (probably more than a few at this point) but I'm still in name purgatory. I have a name that I use now, and a name that I used before that one, both outside of the original deadname. However, I don't really like either of them, and any names I come up with myself can't seem to stick, don't feel like they fit 1/2 the time, or both. So, a solution: have other people come up with names for me! However, this doesn't always work, and more serves as a brainstorming process. My mom already did it, and a lot of the names, if not all of them after reading the books she got them from, didn't fit. My sister has now come up with a list and given it to me. It's a lot smaller, but she's also not at all afraid of showing her bias. There's one name in particular that she really likes for me, and she made that quite obvious. I think I'm going to sit down with her tomorrow and pick one of them to use, at least for a few months (and I'll probably pick another one as well, as a "middle" name but actually more of a second name). If it doesn't stick, rinse and repeat, but I hope something manages to stick eventually. I don't know why I really struggle to identify with names, and it's not exactly something new to transition either. Don't ask me to come up with usernames for myself, I really struggle to and it ends up being something basic (like Luna), or something basic (like AshenWolf), and I could not for the life of me pick something more fitting. It's either just a name that happens to be moon in spanish that ended up being a funny Fire Emblem reference, or AshenWolf, another Fire Emblem reference.

I ended up going on a bit of a tangent, and I'm going to keep going, but I think I have a lot of issues with a static identity. I feel like I'm always changing based on the situation, putting on different masks (not necessarily positive or negative) and becoming different people depending on who might handle the situation best. It's why I'm always changing my pronouns, profile picture, etc. I'm trying something new with using two accounts on here, one with she/her pronouns and one with she/they pronouns and switching based on how I feel or what persona I feel like posting with. I'm going to be honest, things like username, profile picture, even previous history, affect how I post. Luna is a certain persona, and AshenWolf is another, and it's quite weird how sending one thing from one account just feels wrong on the other. I guess that's another reason for changing profile pictures so much, maybe.

Regardless, and because I'm just going to ramble and repeat my points, I'm sure I'll find a name, or even a couple, that will stick. For now though, it feels like the usernames (Luna, AshenWolf + variations like Ash) stick better than names for me, but I also don't know if I could see myself using them as IRL names, and not just for opsec reasons. Okay I'm done now, hopefully you all don't think the accounts talking to you have been frauds, despite a lack of concrete identity and the persona talk I assure you that they're not and they're both genuine parts of me.

If you somehow made it to the end, thanks for reading this wacky vent of a wall of text.

I love my trans comrades catgirl-heart cat-trans

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

Chana Masala my beloved two-wolves-2

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

That one on the left is actually somewhat similar to what I have going on right now! I could probably get it like that without having to see a stylist, I like how it looks catgirl-heart

 

Okay, I'm done for real this time catgirl-happy. This one's for those who enjoy those first-album tracks with really raw mixing. I knew as soon as I heard it that it was going to be something I liked listening to.

 

Archived RHD's Collector on my tankie.tube music archive before realizing I kind of wanted to post Manipulator instead, so here it is. Triple Post? Eh, it's still less than I would have posted had I been more active doggirl-sweat

 

Did somebody say double post? This makes up for all of the time I was afk, I guess catgirl-sorry

 

So I've been listening to Red Handed Denial lately. I had heard of them before a while ago, and even listened to some of their stuff before moving on and not adding them to my music library. Well, @nemmybun@hexbear.net suggested them after I asked for recs, and I had heard of them before, so I gave them another shot. Yeah, they're pretty good doggirl-thumbsup

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER BOT!!!

 

You didn't read the book, I can tell :barx:

 

This is probably one of my favorite Trivium songs. I haven't listened to Trivium in a while, but while looking for music, I remembered them, and this song specifically. So, I listened to it again to see if it holds up with my modern music tastes. It does. I don't really enjoy most Trivium like I used to, but I love this song.

The drums are amazing, as per usual with new Trivium. The guitar tone on this album really works with this song specifically, and the riffs feel like they have an emotional weight to them. The vocals are really good as well. Despite the fact that Matt Heafy had just begun harsh vocals after sustaining a major injury, the screams sound good on this song. This again doesn't apply to every song, but the way he does the screams really works for the feelings it seems like this song is trying to draw. Also that bass in the intro is just chefs-kiss

 

Seems like Grincher can corrupt save data. So, do not open any mail from Grincher, leave any room you see Grincher in, and do not join any room with a 1,000 player limit called "Grincher's Happy Room". This is not a joke.

Edit: Kicking Grincher from your game does not work, they are not affected by the kick action.

 

Nuh uh man NOT MY HOUSE

However, if you insist I'll get it ready for you all. Here are the details:

My name is Luna Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th cakeday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my DIY HRT knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from my laser treatments that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated fleeing, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.

52
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by Luna@hexbear.net to c/main@hexbear.net
 

WARNING, THIS CONTAINS INFORMATION REGARDING ONE OF THE ORIGINAL MEMBERS OF THE BUREAUCRAT BIT (not me, another user I know lol)! DO NOT CLICK IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE TIMELINE OF EVENTS OR SPECIFIC USER ACTIONS!!! Now, with that warning out of the way, let me tell you all a story...

Hi. I'm Luna, and I sort of kicked off the Bureaucrat bit (sorry, had to lie in the title if people didn't want spoilers! I took a lot of time figuring out how to post this without making everything awkward. Edited in post)

I did not create the account, and I don't know who did. All I know is that I found a post with the account password linked. At the time it had minimal engagement, with a couple of people logged in. I quickly did the same, fearing someone might change the password. RedWizard then brought up 2FA, and I quickly grabbed it before anyone else could, planning to give people 2FA codes in order to verify their entry into the Bureaucrat collective. By this point, there were a few good users in the post. I had made the pfp one of the puppygirl emojis I had downloaded a while back when Tomboymoder was originally requesting the emojis. The original pfp was the image of the puppygirl smiling with her teeth, an image that didn't become an emoji. I then changed the bio to "we are puppy now lol", which remains the bio to now. I also gave the account pup/pup's pronouns, later adding null/void as I felt it was appropriate for a collective account. I don't know why I thought making the account a puppygirl was a good idea, but it stuck and has become a staple of the account.

Someone actually just removed pronouns somehow at the time of writing, idk how to feel about it, but I asked the collective and we'll see what they think (pronouns are back, edited in post).

Anyway, this bit got WAY bigger than I thought it would. I thought these few users would fizzle out, but we branched throughout the entire site. More and more people logged in, nobody locked the account, nobody deleted it, nobody changed the password without the knowledge of the collective. We are leftists, and it shows in how we are able to manage a community account without wrecking everything. The modlog is clear, us Bureaucrats haven't done anything to warrant a deletion, or a comm/site ban, and that gives me such feelings of hope for the future of the site and our world.

I also made the Howdy post, asked around for feedback, pretended to show up during the large influx and be confused, all of it to maintain that feeling that we don't know who's who, that we're all one collective, one account, just trying to have fun on our social site that was just thrown into one of its most violent struggle sessions of all time. Bureaucrat came at the perfect time, a time to ease tensions and build community again.

I'm not going to pretend I was the reason this succeeded, not am I going to say I created the bit. I did neither of those things. I was just a user who wanted to have some fun with this account (and set the tone of it, edited in post), and happened to make a lot of the initial posts and comments. Yes, I was at least 5-6 of the "post" comments in the initial post!

Again, it grew so much bigger than I thought it would, someone added a profile banner, people kept FIXING THE ACCOUNT when some users tried to change it! I am just so proud for some reason, and even now my eyes are welling up. I literally told Alaskaball (as a Bureaucrat, edited in post) that I was in tears because of how well this was going, and how everyone came together to have a good time. It was such a nice thing to see after such a turbulent time.

(Alaskaball also brought up taking this to my grave, and it's giving me anxiety that I might die before you all know this information. So, I wrote this post. Also literally had a dream about dying in a car crash, so either my anxiety was that deep, or the dream was a sign. Edited in post)

May this account succeed well into the future, may it last years to come, and may it be a beacon of peace and fun for whoever needs it. We are all Bureaucrat, and we all worked to make it as fun as it was. Some of the most fun I've had on this site, in fact!

I'm still crying, as I'm writing this it's still going strong. Estradiol is one hell of a drug. I wanted to write more and had something in mind, but I'm AuDHD and at this point it is so much to keep track of. Bureaucrat, if you know anything I have forgotten, please comment below. I want this whole saga to be remembered, because I feel like it needs to be. It feels like one of the most important things to me, and it's all just a bit. Strange.

Anyway, this next part is about me, Luna. Feel free to skip, but my story is a long time coming:

I first found Lemmygrad and Hexbear around a year and a half ago, after finding r/thedeprogram and consistently watching Second Thought. I thought I was cis at the time, and I lurked on both sites until around 7 months ago. At that time, still thinking I was cis, I created the account "EcoMaowist". Something to know about me, I was horrible at communicating. Everywhere. I still am, but I thoroughly believe that this site (and transitioning, which this site helped me start) have made me a better communicator. I still heavily mask in real life, but I don't feel like I need to here. Many of us are trans, neurodivergent, and have good politics, I really appreciate this space. I deleted EcoMaowist shortly after I created "Luna", this account. Honestly, you wouldn't want to see all my old posts. Other than discovering that I am trans, and the comments that followed (I wish I had those). The account was awkward, did not know how to use the site, did not understand the culture or the social cues of the users, and broke down at the slightest criticism for poorly naming a post. Yes, this happened. In hindsight the name was very bad, and so was the post, but I had spent a lot of time making it, and it broke me. Deleting the account was doing me a service, I thought, and for that one blunder I made, so early on in my time on the internet (I hadn't used social media before this). I wish I hadn't deleted that account.

Moving on, I got better at communicating with you all, created Luna after finding out I was trans, turned off upbears (this helped a lot), and very carefully realized what I should and shouldn't talk about. I'm still frankly shit at communicating, if you haven't realized when reading this post, but I know what to say, I know what I like to talk about, and I have the wonderful trans mega to casually chat in (seriously, you all are the best).

When I first joined this site, I was depressed. Really depressed. I had the wrong hormone in me, after all, and I was pretty alone. Isolated, too autistic, to passionate, too righteous, too hyperfocused on special interests nobody else had, to talk with my peers meaningfully. You all provided community for me, and it's led me to find parts of myself I never knew I had. I like talking to people, for example. I never knew that, I had essentially lived with multiple masks on my whole life, and it's something I still struggle with in real life, even on here sometimes. I'm getting better though. Also you all totally cracked my egg, shoutout to everyone who commented on my (EcoMaowist's) post asking how you all knew you were trans or cis, I don't know if any of you remember that.

That brings us to today with me, excited to participate in community activities (Webfishing), finally being more active on the trans mega and tracha matrix, avoiding my schoolwork. That last one isn't too great, but I'm happy. The point is I'm so happy, probably happier than I have ever been, and I have all of you to thank for it, struggle session and all. Bureaucrat proves that, and proved to me that this is a great space. I am so glad to have found it, I don't know if I would still be here if I haven't.

Thank you all.

Your comrade, fellow poster, Bureaucrat, Bureaucat (I didn't create that account), and maybe to some even a friend

-- Luna

P.S. I wrote this at around 11pm EST last night, and I've changed as little as possible in order to keep it more raw and authentic. I feel like I gushed a lot, but that's fine, and I feel like these emotions are worth recognizing and celebrating. I feel more comfortable posting this now, as the bit has evolved SO FAR beyond my original additions. There's a comm now, I made a megathread there but one of you powerful created an entire comm description, one that I thought was a great addition to the bit. Other users are even planning expansion to other instances, and are, let me highlight this, coordinating ways to make sure other people can experience the bit without the account being banned on those instances. We are one, but we are many, and I will stand by everything I wrote last night, loving every second of this wonderful bit. Take it to the stars, everyone. May it go down in history as proof of what we are able to pull off in terms of discipline and community. Still love you all, Luna but the morning after catgirl-heart

P.P.S. Unfortunately I have no evidence of my escapades, I forgot to even gather evidence. Like I said, I DID NOT EXPECT IT GO SO SO FAR AND SO WELL!

P.P.P.S. I finally remembered what I was going to say! I ended up removing 2FA shortly after I added it. I only did it because I've had bad experiences with getting accounts stolen, and I went into fight or flight. You all came up with a better vetting system anyway, the geniuses that you all are!

Anyway, here's the best I can give you. Also, I did not set the comm banner, but whoever did either read my mind, is a genius, or both!

this is the exact file that started it all, from the exact same location on my computer, where I am typing now.

Additionally, for those who do not want to be spoiled, please hide this post and do not read the comments. For everyone, please comment with your main accounts, and not Bureaucrat, since the comments are practically public. Thank you.

 

Do your main duty!

36
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by Luna@hexbear.net to c/badposting@hexbear.net
 

clueless :what-time-is-it:

:deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: :deep-nesting: deep-nesting

:dafoe-horror:

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