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this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2024
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I don't know about you, but I died of blood clots, cancer, heart disease, myocarditis, and a whole bunch of other things several times over now. Must be the eight COVID vaccines I've gotten I guess.
Also, the Bill Gates microchips. Don't forget those. And I'm still magnetic.
But hey, at least your 5G reception is fantastic
Oh great, now you're reminding me about how my cell phone gave me a brain tumor back in the 90s.
And just don't ask me about the time I blew up a gas station because my mom called me while I was filling up.
Oh shit I'd completely forgotten about that one.
I mean yeah, at least GSM phones (and I guess CDMA too since the frequency bands are pretty close) did tend to cause funky interference, but the idea that they could somehow cause fuel pumps to go boom was… well, a bit silly.
Yet these people never pick up on things like asbestos or lead or microplastics.
Pfft, woke cultural Marxist "scientists" controlled by BIG GOBERMENT tell you that asbestos causes cancer or that tiny pieces of plastic can make you sick, and you believe them? I'll snort a rail of asbestos just to trigger the libs.
But seriously speaking though, while yeah that was sarcastic as fuck, that's essentially the world view behind why conservatives are increasingly detached from reality; anything "the left" (which, like I tend to quip, is apparently everyone left of the Strasserites nowadays) believes in is by default wrong because the left is wrong. The authorities, researchers etc. who say that CO^2^ emissions are a problem, or that drinking bleach or eating huge doses of dewormer won't actually cure your COVID – which by the way you simultaneously believe to be a lie perpetrated by Jewish space lizards controlled by Bill Gates – are all "the left", so those things just can't be true
And popping popcorn with our phones. LoL those were the days.
Watch out for water and sharks, squid dude.
I'm good with water, thanks, but never mind sharks. What I really need to look out for is other squid!
https://www.livescience.com/56211-squid-cannibalism.html
Damn, it's a squid-eat-squid world
And not in a good way!
This is likely the source of that particular conspiracy.
See, that’s where you’re missing the point. That fact that we all reanimated after death is proof that the vaccines had secret chemicals in them.