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submitted 1 month ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

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[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 month ago

I wouldn't say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.

[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago

Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don't talk to anyone anymore tbh.

I'm gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won't be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!

Use the apps

No, privacy nightmare.

[-] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 11 points 1 month ago

Don't trust what the loud voices say.

Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.

[-] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Women won't let men leave until they've squashed a bug that's 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

No that's not fair, they do not. Don't be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say "because of the implication".

[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago

Also don't ask women out at the gym, at work, in a store, on the street, or any hobby where they just want to enjoy themselves and not have to be asked out politely or otherwise.

The only acceptable places according to women are on the apps and in bars, or church supposedly if you're one of those.

I don't do the privacy violating apps, I don't drink much anymore, and both of those are more "hook up" culture while I want like "an actual relationship," and church just isn't for me. Like, I could go hang out but I'm not going to believe in your gods, and that is a point of contention with the faithful.

[-] MadhuGururajan@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago

You know what I figured out as a man? Just listen to the other party in this order of increasing priority: body language, facial expression, their words. MAIN THING TO AVOID: Never assume they are/will be comfortable with you. Never assume consent with body language or facial expression. If they want to be romantically involved THEY will approach you.

Before I was married my mind was on alert talking women in order not to come off as creepy. This was with women whom I had purely platonic relationships like my coworkers or college mates. I am aware the effect men have with their staring. To this day when I am walking on the street I make sure to not walk behind women. If I can i overtake them. If not I just change directions even if my destination is straight ahead. Treating the nonfamily women in my life like I would treat men should be the right thing to do... but its not easy with the reputation that men have among women.

So my point effectively is just don't be creepy and pushy. Just be polite and reciprocate interest. Otherwise just treat them like your sister or guy friend.

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works -1 points 1 month ago

Why don't you use websites without using apps?

[-] hex@programming.dev 0 points 1 month ago

That's just wrong and putting a blanket statement for no reason.

[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Edit: Whoops wrong comment! H/o.

Sure it's a blanket statement, so you're of the opinion I should be asking more strangers out in public then?

[-] hex@programming.dev 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's possible to talk to random women without seeming intimidating. Always leave an easy out. Don't be pushy. Be casual. The thing people don't get is they try to just fish for numbers. Sometimes, just a compliment and never talking to her again is what you need.

But, the best way to meet new people for relationships is to meet new friends. Every person you meet opens a ton of opportunities for experiences and connections.

[-] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Don't start talking to them with the intent to ask them out. Just see if you can get their attention, see of you can find a little bit of common ground to build a conversation on, then, if they are receiving you well over the course of your conversation, say something like "hey, I enjoyed talking to you, would you mind meeting up some other time?" or something to that effect. This works best in places for socializing, bars, music venues, hobby spaces, etc. It can be applied to more formal places, just has to happen over a broader period of time, as you get to know your coworkers, or whatever.

The strong vibes of "my intent in talk to you is to have sex" is, often, what makes things uncomfortable. So, even if you can't find common ground, or the conversation went well and she turns you down, or gives some non-committal answer, and you part ways amicably, you will have not be seen as some creep.