this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2025
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[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 179 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (11 children)

If their eyes do that, they might be autistic.

Source: am autistic.

[–] CanaryWhiskey@lemmy.world 103 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Or socially awkward or anxious

[–] Duranie@leminal.space 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hell I'm generally fine with eye contact, but if I actually want to pause to put thought into an answer, I will absolutely look away so I can get in my head and think!

[–] Juvyn00b@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

I always do this when talking. When listening I can focus on eye contact just fine, but my brain will not let me waste cycles trying to maintain eye contact while thinking through communication with someone.

[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 54 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My eyes always do this and I was diagnosed with ADD as a child after an IQ test. Teachers before always accused me of being dishonest and I got into all sorts of trouble because of it.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 33 points 3 months ago

a lot of people still read me as dishonest

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I grew up around a lot of pathological liars, and still have two in my life. I detect it so quickly. It's not like the kind of lying I do, pathological lying is compulsive and sometimes pointless. It has nothing to do with body language, it's all verbal clues.

I have a really good friend now that I would have written off as a pathological liar. But I had to be around him because we kept getting assigned together. What happened was once he detected that I don't care about machismo or if he could beat me in a fight, he stopped lying because he was no longer trying to impress me.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 30 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Try reading to the final panel.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 35 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

They can't. There were eyes in that panel, and therefore their eyes looked away.

I did. What I said still applies.

[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's a fun subject to talk about regardless. The final panel makes it funny, sure, but I imagine a lot of people like discussing their variety of social quirks with others... and this definitely provides the opportunity.

Alternatively, another social quirk that exists is responding before fully processing something... replying to an email / comic / thread before reading the content completely... THAT is typically a behavior seen in people with ADD.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I have ADD and still do this sometimes verbally. I hate myself for it because it's so annoying. Ever been around someone that constantly finishes other people's sentences? Probably ADD.

But have you ever been around someone who constantly finishes other people's sentences wrong? It's funny at first but not for long, holy shit it's annoying. And they do it because they want to move the conversation along, but in reality they are slowing it down by forcing others to repeat themselves, correct, or clarify.

[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah. For some (this isn't excusing it but explaining some of it:) the finishing a statement is 'urgent' because you unconsciously have trained yourself to handle a fleeting idea immediately or potentially lose it to the noise again. Pre medication I moved to a notepad and as someone spoke I'd just leave response breadcrumbs for when they finished. Worked reasonably well.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Insightful. I just got diagnosed like four months ago so I've got a lot of unmasking and learning to do.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

What? This is technically written so it doesn't apply to him.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Came here to say this. It's so hard to look at someone in the eyes.

[–] lena@gregtech.eu 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I don't know where to look! It's so awkward.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Bridge of their nose

[–] OrderedChaos@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Look at their right eye. If you look at their left it'll feel like they're looking over your shoulder. Lol

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Bridge of the nose, or just above it.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Then you notice how far apart their eyes are or there's a zit there or they've a faint monobrow and you wonder if they've ever considered shaving it and you just missed most of the last five things they said.

[–] Sabin10@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I usually pick something on the wall just to the side of their head and then I get too focused on that and then the conversation is over and I have no idea what just happened.

[–] laurelraven@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

A friend/co-worker has a trick he uses that I thought was pretty clever, though it only works if you're nearsighted: he takes off his glasses so he can't see your eyes but looks like he's making eye contact

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 months ago

And if their arms or legs are crossed, they're probably feeling cold.

Source: am cold.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 11 points 3 months ago

It's actually both.

Allists! Your eyes are not that interesting! They're boring to look at 10 minutes straight.

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or theres a FUCKING SPIDER ON THE CEILING

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 1 points 3 months ago

Depends. Is it cute?

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

ND salesman checking in. Yep, I hate this lie.

[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

There's a variety of reasons - some social, some have to do with memory. Brain wiring is weird. When recalling conversations with people I will 'half insert' them into the physical space and make eye contact with 'them' as I would have in the original conversation. For me it helps with recollection; for the other parties involved I may as well be addressing ghosts.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I went to an alternative school for a bit, and one of the “behaviors” I would get punished for was not making eye contact. I still don’t feel comfortable with it.

[–] pigeonholedpoetry@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Everybody says they’re autistic.

I know, right? I wish everyone could experience what us autism enjoyers live with everyday.

Living with autism is so fun that many of us are or have been depressed for long periods, some even considering suicide.