this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2025
198 points (97.6% liked)

Not The Onion

16846 readers
1665 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 88 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Damn. If only the Constitution has been transposed into non-cursive format at least once over the last 250 or so years! /s

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I know you’re being sarcastic but I’m sure those that buy what Fox is selling here think that anything besides the original document itself is untrustworthy and has been doctored to be woke or something else stupid

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

The transcription on Wikipedia has pronouns in it! They even made it start with one!

[–] Joeffect@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wait until they hear about the Bible

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

As if random tourists are testing for forgeries

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

They probably don't know about it, but shit like that has happened.

http://web.archive.org/web/20230520080201/https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/15/us/politics/qualified-immunity-supreme-court.html

A single unnamed secretary illegally altered the wording of a federal law that was passed in 1871, when they failed to properly copy it into the Federal Register, in 1874. That shit led to Qualified Immunity, which is explicitly against the original wording of the law as passed.

[–] Kbobabob@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I'm sure if they took a trip to DC they wouldn't know if it was the original or not.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Da, why yankee no teach children Cyrillic these days? Москва́ DEMANDS ANSWERS

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

And possibly put somewhere it’s easily explained with the entirety of the text included. That would be so hard to do…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_United_States

And…

https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CDOC-110hdoc50/pdf/CDOC-110hdoc50.pdf

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

How could it be? It's in cursive! Nobody knows how to read that!