this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 88 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Damn. If only the Constitution has been transposed into non-cursive format at least once over the last 250 or so years! /s

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago (5 children)

I know you’re being sarcastic but I’m sure those that buy what Fox is selling here think that anything besides the original document itself is untrustworthy and has been doctored to be woke or something else stupid

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

The transcription on Wikipedia has pronouns in it! They even made it start with one!

[–] Joeffect@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wait until they hear about the Bible

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

As if random tourists are testing for forgeries

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

They probably don't know about it, but shit like that has happened.

http://web.archive.org/web/20230520080201/https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/15/us/politics/qualified-immunity-supreme-court.html

A single unnamed secretary illegally altered the wording of a federal law that was passed in 1871, when they failed to properly copy it into the Federal Register, in 1874. That shit led to Qualified Immunity, which is explicitly against the original wording of the law as passed.

[–] Kbobabob@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I'm sure if they took a trip to DC they wouldn't know if it was the original or not.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Da, why yankee no teach children Cyrillic these days? Москва́ DEMANDS ANSWERS

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

And possibly put somewhere it’s easily explained with the entirety of the text included. That would be so hard to do…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_United_States

And…

https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CDOC-110hdoc50/pdf/CDOC-110hdoc50.pdf

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

How could it be? It's in cursive! Nobody knows how to read that!

[–] BrotherL0v3@lemmy.world 35 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I am continuously amazed what the right wing propaganda machine convinces people to get upset about.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

BREAKING NEWS!!! DEMOCRATS CONTAMINATE WATER SUPPLY WITH FLUORIDE!!!

[–] credo@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

URGENT! Democrats conspire to plant trees to emit POISONOUS oxygen into atmosphere.

[–] knightmare1147@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

DANGER! Democrats have SPACE LASERS and HURRICANE machines!

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Eh, even they described as a literal "conspiracy theory", so (without having seen the footage) it was probably more of a light-hearted quip.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Gotta float your bullshit somehow

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Dude, I learned to read and write in cursive like every other 90s kid. I still can't read much of the original text of the constitution. Have you see that chicken scratch?

[–] lunarul@lemmy.world 0 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's very readable, definitely not chicken scratch. Unless I missed an implied "/s"?

If you look up a really high res scan, it is much better. Most pictures/scans I've ever seen though are completely unreadable because of how crazy italicized it is. It's on like a 60 degree lean. It just looks like scribbles if the image is not super high res.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 18 points 6 days ago

Remind me: which party fights against funding public education, thereby forcing school administrators to make difficult choices about what to cut?

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

As if these dildos know what it says.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Well, they can read the bit about the “right to bear arms”, but the part involving a “well regulated militia” makes them confused and angry.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

The irony is that the right to bear arms is a literal amendment to the constitution which the founding fathers did intentionally to set a precedent for future leaders to change and update the constitution. Conservatives who act like strict constitutionalists just completely miss the point of the bill of rights and their favorite amendment to have guns

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

Like it matters to these fucking traitor shitbags. If every republican could just fucking get measles ASAP, that would be grand.

Pulling the same old crap like they do with the bible?

They’re taking religion out of schools so kids don’t read the bible!1!1!

When the problem is that Fox watchers haven’t bothered to read either of the writings themselves and believe whatever someone tells them the documents mean. They don’t actually want anyone to read these things.

[–] circuitfarmer 5 points 5 days ago

Trump could tear up the Constitution live on Fox News and they'd point at Democrats and ask why they hate America

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 10 points 6 days ago

You've never read the constitution until you've read it in the original Klingon

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] distantsounds@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

“le Wut”

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

I have to read cursive every day for work.

But that's because I'm the only person I know who writes in cursive.

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 5 points 6 days ago

True, you can only truly understand it in its original cursive, read while walking around colonial williamsburg

[–] CompleteUnknown@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

My wife is a school teacher. Schools in our area haven't taught cursive in years. They've been talking about bringing it back.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

lmao, why would they care if that was accurate??

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] kebab@endlesstalk.org 2 points 5 days ago

Thank you, I’ve just updated the link

[–] ZagamTheVile@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

At least we can read.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

They still teach cursive? I remember hearing schools were dropping it in like the 2000s