Slop.

Well ok I was on board to join you in dunking on these presumably-made-by-real-people-but-so-low-effort-as-to-be-mistaken-for-terrible-AI-slop-ass characters, but your screenshot showed me that Wiggler is a playable character, so I've actually gotta go get my Nintendo account polished up so I can qualify for the Greedy-Gobbler tier of the pre-order ARG so I can let the least consumer-friendly skinner-box-based-microtransaction-simulator corporation take my kids' school clothes money on day one instead of having to wait and suffer through all the other terrible, boring, old, perfectly good and playable and actually more fun games that you could find by wagging a very short stick around in my house for a solid minute (ask me how I know) and then having to explain to my children how we are actually too poor to let Papa Miyamoto touch our digital currencies in that special way he likes so much (expensively, and on an automatically-recurring basis).

So anyways, thanks for the tip!