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Even though you're in the top 0.1%, under no circumstances should you hire a hitman.
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Have some elaborate and complicated plan to create an alibi. It should involve changed clocks around or having everyone think you're there when you're really not. The more intricate your alibi plan is, the better. All of those 30 steps in your plan will go perfectly.
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You're gonna kill the closest person to you, either your spouse, your parent, or your best friend.
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Spend under 5 seconds feeling sad that the closest person to you is now dead. Get back to what you were doing before the murder. Let everyone know that you're a happier version of yourself before that person died.
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Befriend in the warmest possible way the head investigator for the murder you just did. Let the guy into your home and offer him any courtesy and assistance that you can provide. Let him get cigar ash all over your personal space.
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Let the police search your home at all hours. Never insist on a warrant. Talk to the cops like you would your family. Never demand your right to have a lawyer present.
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After the homicide department has discovered a few inconsistencies in your story, just confess the murder immediately. Accept that you'll spend the rest of your life in jail, there's not point in fighting.
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Look that pig in the eye that got you a long jail sentence with profound love
Sorry I just binge watched seasons 1-5
You forget that Columbo works in the narcissist division of the homicide unit
I was gonna say, the show only makes sense if LAPD has a specific "rich asshole who probably got murder by other rich asshole" unit, and that unit is just Colombo.
It's implicit that he's the only person who's actually interested in punishing rich people
I haven't seen a lot of the show, but what I have seen, they always use some sort of new (for the time) technology to commit or cover up the murder, which implies he exclusively investigates tech bros