this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2025
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I love deeply online pseudohistory. I understand perfectly how awful it can be and that it is objectively bad for the public and for professional historians and archeologists just trying to do their job but holy shit is it so funny. Real history is something I am deeply passionate about, especially the history of antiquity so you'd think I hated this stuff and to some extent I do but on the other hand... the shit they come up with is so entertaining. They are so horrifically wrong that it can be belly laugh inducing. Please keep searching for atlantis, its been 3000 years but you, mr youtube man, it will be you, the chosen one, who will find it for sure. Yes, the world globalist cabal IS hiding antlantis from us, keep searching I am begging you. The Free Masons ARE coming for you if you find it though, it is so over. Admittedly, the eye of rhe sahara is a really neat geological feature.

Thanks, Joe Rogan. Thanks, Plato

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago (5 children)

While I enjoy pseudo-archaeology as slop, I hate the "ancient aliens" shit in particular. They actually allege that the pyramids were built by aliens instead of being an accident. It robs Ancient Egyptians of their autonomy and experience, witnessing the accidental construction and having to make sense with all the new stressors that must have introduced to their society. To even claim that aliens built them, the grifters would have to first prove the existence of aliens and they don't do that.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They do this with any non-white culture with large megastructures, especially indigenous Americans. It literally boils down to "brown people couldn't possibly have done this" 99% of the time

[–] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Meanwhile, the whitest of white people built Stonehenge, which is something a sufficiently-sized toddler could have done.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Once I noticed the low-key racist vibes of only choosing things made by non-European cultures as made by aliens I've hated it, too.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Imagine being a Chinese person, accidentally building a wall too long, and being told you couldn't possibly do that because Europeans accidentally enclosed Constantinople in walls even though it's a city that needs to grow.

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It robs Ancient Egyptians of their autonomy and experience, witnessing the accidental construction and having to make sense with all the new stressors that must have introduced to their society. To even claim that aliens built them, the grifters would have to first prove the existence of aliens and they don't do that.

Not only that, but it feels like they replaced aryans with aliens in order to get to that conclusion. It's just that belittling to the locals.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Very much so. There's an undercurrent of white supremacy where only Europeans, creators of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and similar malformed structures, could accidentally build a pyramid.

[–] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Clearly they were just moving some rocks around randomly and a pyramid emerged

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

I live in the 21st century, I have a graphing calculator and computer and autocad, I've studied 3000 years of mathematics they didn't have. It would be hard for me to make any kind of building. Whatever they were trying to build, it came out looking like that and I couldn't do much better. Good effort but I can see why the only similar structure we've built since was a Bass Pro Shop. It doesn't work as a design.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I actually don't think it's as prejudiced as people claim. The actual theory is that the ancient megalithic structures around the world (including the few built by white Europeans, such as Stonehenge) were built by humans using advanced, now-lost technology passed down to them by a visiting off-world civilization. Most people are surprised to learn that Carl Sagan entertained similar ideas (before he got compromised, allegedly^[I've been meaning to read this sometime: https://annas-archive.org/md5/3ed2ff3e6089f7c5607a58bf31265d5d]):

The statistics presented earlier in this paper suggest that the Earth has been visited by various galactic civilizations many times (possibly ~10^4^) during geological time. It is not out of the question that artifacts of these visits still exist —Carl Sagan^[https://ntrs.nasa.gov/api/citations/19630011050/downloads/19630011050.pdf]

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Consider what it would take to build and fly a spaceship to earth. Extremely advanced metallurgy, physics, mathematics- it would be a crowning achievement for our species a century from now if we became competent enough to actually visit another world. One that surpasses our greatest skyscrapers and aircraft so much that they would look like apes using rock tools. You honestly believe a civilisation like that, so far beyond our comprehension that they probably see us as insects, could fly alllllllllllllllllll the way here and fuck up a building that badly?

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fuck up which building?

I think humans built them (and so does Giorgio Tsoukalos for that matter).

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The pyramids. I think humans built them too, I just think it was Egyptians who made an honest mistake.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not their fault they built it upside down

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

Woulda looked nice as a cube. That's all I'm sayin'. You can fit a LOT more treasure in a cube.