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this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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Technology
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There are 257 rivers and major streams on the Crimean peninsula.
Each of them are Crimean and therefore qualify for use in the mockery of any tech giant of my choosing via extremely bad puns.
However...
How the fuck do you cram 257 rivers into a space that size? Like, we can't even manage the Colorado (no, the other one ... how we have one flowing through Austin escapes me).
I don't know what counts as a major stream, but usually streams are smaller than creeks, and creeks can be pretty small. So if there are 255 water courses that are smaller than creeks... I can see it.
Why can't we just make it an even 256?
It's zero indexed
Motherfuckers.
Crimea has a mountain range up south, really close to the sea, so it has a bunch of really short rivers. Chile is the same.
That said the river from the "Crimea river" meme is the Salğır/Салгир:
Oh cry me a river! I get it! Ukrainian humor prevails! Take that putin!
..and major streams. Don't forget major streams!
I don't know shit though, I just pulled that from Wikipedia to support a really bad pun.🤣
I think "major streams" are more generally referred to as "rivers."
Maybe it's a translation issue, we have
...
Maybe they just have the 2 words so there's information lost in translation?
That's a wildly incomplete list. I guess if you're out east, that might feel like a full list, but if you've ever lived somewhere with arroyos, you've never experienced brooks or runs. I mean, short of Mel Brooks and having diarrhea.
There's an old joke about growing up in Phoenix: That one does not associate rivers or bridges with water.
Wow. That... That sure is special. 🤢
Don't geographyshame!