this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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This is why all centrifuges should be hand-cranked.
Chase the lab blues away with some vigorous physical stimulation.
Sorry, but there's been a blanket ban on any "vigorous physical stimulation" in the lab ever since the incident
Oh, you were one of them that worked with the dolphins?
I'm not at liberty to confirm or deny.
Are you telling me I could get paid to hand-crank my centrifuge? I've been doing it for free all these years.
In lew of a hand cranked centrifuge, we installed a Crank machine next to the centrifuge, for "~~reforming offenders~~ stimulating researchers by teaching them habits of industry."
So a day at the lab then.