this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse

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[–] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 140 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Remembering when I saw a blahaj user complaining about feeling so on edge when around hexbears because she was afraid she'd say something racist or ableist by accident and get dogpiled lmao

i-think-that making people feel uncomfortable and scared to be openly racist is good actually

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 108 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

It's not even that bad. I called out someone this morning for misgendering my partner and they went whoops my bad not sure why I even did that. And everything is fine now. Make a mistake, be called out on it, admit your mistake, learn from it, and everything is totally fine. Shit happens nobody is perfect and nobody is expecting perfection.

Where the real dog piling happens is when someone makes a mistake, is called out on it, and doesn't have the humility to admit they made a mistake. The double and triple down occurs and that's when the dunking truly begins.

So basically anyone complaining that Hexbears make them scared are just racist/sexist/ablest/you name it ist and refuses to try not to be those things. We're totally chill if folks want to try to be better people and are willing to actually try

[–] ikilledtheradiostar@hexbear.net 62 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The double and triple down occurs

Because they didn't make a mistake, they're defending how they really think.

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago
[–] JuneFall@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Having grown up in a white household that was becoming middle class with two parents who were pretty poor the academic success and thus negation of identity was quite important. Faults were not addressed, but ignored with neighbors but also within the family, status was to be kept up. So call outs were seen not as only attack against personhood but self itself.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, this is how my family is too. They'll say some asinine shit and the second you call them out about it they shut it down because "well you're being POLITICAL and we just won't agree on that so we shouldn't talk about it." It's ridiculous and one of the reasons I don't talk to my family much anymore

[–] DroneRights@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Politics is when minorities demand rights, and the less rights they already have, the more political it is. And if it's a minority I haven't heard of, that's trolling.

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago (2 children)

When your native language doesn't have gendered pronouns and you're afraid of misgendering by accident due to subconsciously defaulting to ”he” in English: meow-knit

[–] EpicKebabEater@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I genuinely used to make that mistake even with cis people. I'd forget calling everyone it isn't acceptable lol.

Though on the internet the best idea is to double check all comments you're writing. If you make a mistake still, you can just apologize and edit it. Don't be too spooked.

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

I was mostly joking, but am in favor of genderless pronouns for all languages to eliminate this problem.

[–] Finger@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

no more half measures walter

[–] Grimble@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

she was afraid she'd say something racist or ableist by accident

Americans are such bumbling cartoon simpletons its unreal LMAO, like who else could have a problem so perfectly dumb. Imagine being like this and still demanding to feel comfortable everywhere you go.

[–] DroneRights@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If it's the same person who said that stuff to me, she went on to say she genders all strangers he/him by default. On the instance full of trans women. And the admin defended her.

[–] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure it wasn't the same person ngl, blahaj just seems to have loads of accidental racists and bigots on it

[–] DroneRights@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh, and a chaser who came onto me in PMs, then commented transphobic shit on my posts and tried to dox me

[–] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Oh god that's awful, I had a chaser be really weird at me too and follow me from post to post calling me "m'lady" and had someone accuse me of being chaserphobic - was your chaser a teenage Vaush fan by any chance, because we might have got the same one

Ngl before defederation I was really trying to push for the two instances staying together but now I'm increasingly souring on blahaj for their poor moderation

[–] DroneRights@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No idea if they were a vaush fan. They were very firm in their belief that trans people shouldn't be forced to engage in politics, and that's why they harassed random trans people who don't like Blahaj trying to get them to debate the politics of the issue.

[–] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh god just from the sound of them I think I know who you mean, they might be the person who accused me of being chaserphobic after I politely told a chaser I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone who talked about trans people so fetishisticly like they did

[–] ExotiqueMatter@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What is a chaser? Genuinely dont know.

[–] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

a chaser is a cis person who fetishises and objectifies trans people, frequently in a way that's pretty transphobic once you look under the surface. A lot of the time though they're able to avoid being labelled as transphobes and postion themselves as allies because they agree that trans people have a right to exist, and don't hate trans people the same way - they're basically the mirror image of people who used to say shit like "i support gay rights because it means i get to see women kissing in public and have threesomes with bisexual girls". A pretty common element is also them taking advantage of the fact that a lot of trans people are societally vulnerable, frequently face social rejection and so are more likely to accept any form of "positive" attention, even if it comes from someone who just wants to fuck them, need money for gender affirming treatment, etcetera - so this ranges from chasers getting with trans people because trans people are more likely have lower standards on the mild end of the spectrum to on the other end, threatening to withhold gender affirming treatment from them, taking advantage of their economic situation to coerce them etcetera.

sometimes though the term is used incorrectly to just refer to people who are just attracted to trans people, without it being fetishistic or controlling

tl;dr: they're basically just guys who would be sexpats but they want to stay in the first world, so looked for a different vulnerable group at home and settled on trans people

[–] ExotiqueMatter@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 2 years ago

Ok Well, yikes.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

frothingfash I just want to use my slurs you removed by mod