this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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parenting
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The parents aren't abusive, but they have little meaningful control over what the child does. They have limited visitation and can only talk to her on the phone for a limited time every day (This is technically supposed to be unsupervised but often ends up not being so meaningfully)
I tried telling her this is a bad idea, and even if it goes well this time it may not the next time.
Did you explain why also? This is important.
I think you need to tell the kids parents even if they can't do anything. And talk to the girl about why you feel it necessary to do so.
I tried explaining that people may not be who they say they are, but I don't think she really got the seriousness of that before she had to leave.
How old is this child? That plays a role in how blunt you should be
9 Almost 10
So they can understand that there are adults posing as children online to trick them and hurt them. Doesn’t have to be too explicit, but it needs to convey the risk
Yeah sounds tough. Thinking about putting myself in the situation of the parents, I would want to know so I could look into getting my kid moved. Like what the hell are they doing at that place
There's pretty broad agreement, so I suppose I should. The thing is that the parents have no control of her actions, they can't do anything to stop this except talk to her.
It is a scandal how poorly run this institution is. Which is why i hesitate to tell the staff, the only intervention I expect is taking away her phone, which would cut her off from her family.
What a bind this is, to put it mildly. That might actually be worse outcome than accepting exposure to online predators.
Potential online abuse could be an outcome and that would be terrible, but having a serious talk with her about the dangers next time you see her could go a long way.
On the other hand, losing her only connection to the outside world in a negligent institution would definitely be terrible and could lead her down a very dark and hopeless path. Avoid that at all cost. The parents would probably just tell the staff and they would definitely just take her Internet access away and be done with it. Best case they talk with her when and if they can make time for that and that's something you can just do next time.