"Sure is a beautiful day... Except where you're standing!"
"I feel like celebrating today. Because today's the day you die!"
"Seeing you brings back memories... Of wanting my eyes gouged out!"
"You know what I like most about people? They die."
"I sensed your presence before you even arrived. What did you EAT?!"
"Ha! [laugh] You're funny. But looks aren't everything."
"I'd like to get to know someone like you... And then drown them!"
"I've said it before and I'll say it again — I hate you."
"I was hoping you'd come 'round. I could use a good laugh."
"I'm not like those mean gnomes. I'm a million times worse."
"You should go somewhere nice and peaceful. Like a CEMETERY!"
"I can't decide if I like your looks or your personality better — it's like comparing mud to sewage."
"Sometimes I just want someone to talk to. And sometimes I want someone to kick in the crotch!"
"Excuse me, do you have the time... To get stuffed?!"
"Winter's my favourite season. I love the snow. And that's when most people die!"
"If I had a friend like you, I could tell them secrets. Like that I'm going to set you on fire."
"If it were up to me, no one would ever get sick. They'd just die, starting with YOU!"
"Oh, I didn't notice you there. How d'you like being so insignificant?"
"We could be best friends, if I liked people with an arse for a face!"
"I could help you find what you're looking for. Step one: Pull your head out your arse!"
"My favourite things are music and sunshine and love. And pain."
"It's a great day to be alive! And a better day to kill!"
"Are you lost? Can I help you starve and die?"
"Those are nice shoes, but don't you think your gran's feet are cold without them?!"
"Philosophers tell us that there are those who create, those who destroy... And those who are wankers, like you."
"You remind me of an old friend...He was a twit! Just like you!"
"There's our noble hero. Our big, fat, STUPID, UGLY noble hero."
"Oh you are sweet. Like a bloody great TART!"
"Here comes the one who will save the land. Ha! I say, let it burn!"
"When people tell you you're good, they mean you're a goody-two-shoes. When they say I'm good, they mean I'm a fiend in the sack!"
"It's the great hero, looking for excitement. How about you come sit on my big pointy hat?!"
"I'd like to come 'round to your house for tea. And then I'll have your mum."
"You seem like a very nice person. I kill nice people, you know."