this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
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Why the hell do we call it “coconut water” like it’s some holy, saint-blessed hydration straight from God’s urethra? It’s juice. It comes out of a fucking fruit. If it squirted out of an orange we wouldn’t sit there pretending it’s “orange water.” But no, slap “water” on the label. It’s not magical glacier piss. It’s coconut juice. Stop jerking off the branding like it’s some enlightened nectar for smug wellness cultists.

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[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 56 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Is not juice because you don't squeeze the coconut. Sorry, pal.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 29 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You squeeze the lime in the coconut.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then you call the doctor, wake him up!

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 4 points 21 hours ago

And say "doctor doctor... gimme the news. I got a bad case of loving two."

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 4 points 1 day ago

You're such a silly woman!

[–] ageedizzle@piefed.ca 11 points 1 day ago

It also lacks the sugar content characteristic of juice

[–] Allah@piefed.world -3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

squeezing is just pressure applied not in an instant, some can squeeze a coconut until it breaks, many even use machines to squeeze them

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

First you break the coconut to get the water (pressing it slowly if you want, some people make a hole), next, also if you want, you can squeeze the pulp to get some oil.

Dont forget about squeezing the teet to get coconut milk.