this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
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Why the hell do we call it “coconut water” like it’s some holy, saint-blessed hydration straight from God’s urethra? It’s juice. It comes out of a fucking fruit. If it squirted out of an orange we wouldn’t sit there pretending it’s “orange water.” But no, slap “water” on the label. It’s not magical glacier piss. It’s coconut juice. Stop jerking off the branding like it’s some enlightened nectar for smug wellness cultists.

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[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago (9 children)

Is not juice because you don't squeeze the coconut. Sorry, pal.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You squeeze the lime in the coconut.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Then you call the doctor, wake him up!

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

And say "doctor doctor... gimme the news. I got a bad case of loving two."

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 4 points 1 month ago

You're such a silly woman!

[–] ageedizzle@piefed.ca 14 points 1 month ago

It also lacks the sugar content characteristic of juice

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[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Nah. I'm gonna start calling juice water. Apple water. Orange water. Grape water. Tomato water.

Also, why do you associate water with holiness and gods?

[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

To me, "orange water" is a pitcher of water that has some orange slices chilling in it for a bit of flavor. "Juice" is the stuff results from squeezing a fruit or vegetable to expel its liquid.

[–] semisimian@startrek.website 9 points 1 month ago

I call all of it "sugar water" so that my kids know the two main ingredients.

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

“Everybody knows grape is a fruit! Why you gotta say it weird?”

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[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The water is a filtered sap that’s drawn up from the roots and transported through the tree’s vascular system (its water and nutrient transport system), specifically the xylem tissue.

The coconut tree’s extensive root system, ranging from 1 to 5 metres deep, absorbs groundwater – with dissolved nutrients – from the surrounding soil. The absorbed water is then transported upwards through the trunk and branches and finally to the fruit.

The fruit retains this water, stored in the cavity of the coconut. The accumulated water, with its rich nutrients, provides food to the developing endosperm (white flesh).

Therefore, coconut water is neither rainwater nor seawater stored inside, but carefully filtered and nutrient-rich clear liquid formed by the tree itself.

About 95% of coconut water is simply water, making it an excellent hydrating fluid.

How do coconuts get their water

[–] MuttMutt@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's called coconut water because it's been called that for hundreds of years. It's not something newly created by corporate eggheads. They are just capitalizing on what is already out there.

[–] Iconoclast@feddit.uk 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

It's called coconut milk in Finnish.

Also, this seems more like a rant than a question.

edit: My bad, it's actually called water in finnish too. Everyone just refers to it as milk in everyday speech.

[–] mech@feddit.org 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Coconut milk is something different than coconut water.
Coconut milk is white, coconut water is clear.

[–] mystrawberrymind@piefed.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah there’s coconut water, coconut milk, and coconut cream. Totally different!

[–] hector@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

Also you can tap their blossoms for nectar, and make alcohol out of it, or just drink it.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Are you suggesting coconuts lactate???

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 3 points 1 month ago

No, but an African or European shrew could lactate into a coconut for storage purposes.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 2 points 1 month ago

They are hairier than many mammals.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I considered making a "Meet the Parents" reference, but I'm not happy with what I've come up with.

Well, what the hell.

"I have nuts, Greg. Can you milk me?"

[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

Coconut milk is different than coconut water. Coconut milk they make from the flesh of the coconut, squeeze it or whatever, the water is flioating as is inside the coconut. They sell the coconut milk in cans for cooking stuff, and it's white like milk sort of, coconut water is clear-ish.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

The juice from a coconut is mostly water. We also call watermelon watermelon and that is more juice like than coconut water. They should be called juicemelons. 🤷‍♂️

[–] ProdigalFrog@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 month ago

But if the flesh of a melon is squeezed and the liquid collected, it becomes watermelon juice.

Water juice.

[–] blackbrook@mander.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

Another conspiracy from Big Watermelon.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 11 points 1 month ago

Not really, mainly due to how the liquid is stored.

I generally think that juice is within the flesh of the fruit that needs to be squeezed out. I can't drill a hole in a watermelon to drink watermelon juice, but I can drill a hole in a coconut and drink the coconut water.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

Finally somebody is taking on Big Nut Water

[–] quediuspayu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I've never thought about that but I'm going to come up with a reason.

I'll say it is water because it can be just poured from inside the coconut, you just need to poke a hole.

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[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 8 points 1 month ago

Not near as big of a sin as "vitamin water" calling itself water.

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 6 points 1 month ago

Coconut cum

[–] Paragone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

it should be labeled as sooo high in potassium that it kills dogs.

The people saying that coconut-milk is different from coconut-cream is different from coconut-water are right, btw.

https://nativepet.com/blogs/health/can-dogs-drink-coconut-water

Potassium-overdose is the standard method for inducing heart-stop, ie in executions in China, & in other cases where medical-heart-stop is required.

Dogs're small, & so the potassium-concentration in coconut-water is more proportional to their entire-bodymass than it would be for the same size drink compared with a human drinking it.

their metabolism's hotter, too,

& there's an entire chemical-family ( which is represented in chocolate, alcoholic-drinks, etc ) which is lethal to many animals but not to us ( dogs, parrots, can't remember if cats, etc. )

_ /\ _

[–] SolSerkonos@piefed.social 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Why? We don't label anything else that can kill dogs. Just don't give human food to your dog without at least double checking that it's safe.

It's really hard to overdose on potassium from foods for a human so it's not really a concern for us unless there's some sort of complication.

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[–] The_Almighty_Walrus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Either way it tastes like it's been in someone else's mouth

[–] skullve@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 month ago

Coconut water is the liquid endosperm found in the cavity of the nut. Coco"nut".

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