this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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LLMs are not the singularity anyways.
Though I'd be very surprised if no one has ever built a blowjob machine. Not necessarily a good or safe bj machine, but knowing humans, I'm 100% sure it's been done. Hospitals might even have a code for "dick mangled by homemade bj machine".
Why would you need a bj machine? Just use a buttplug and positive reinforcement
Funnily enough
https://nextshark.com/china-sperm-extractor
"Teledildonics" have been a humorous niche since the Slashdot era.
It's plug and play!
Do you mean a vacuum cleaner?
You're gonna rip your dick off.
I personally wouldn't call a vacuum cleaner similar to a blow job. There isn't that much sucking involved in "sucking dick".
You just need to switch it from suck to blow.