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Well I'm a woman and I've talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.
Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.
It's the lifestyle I've chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I'd rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.
Life is about balance. You dont want to be a reclusive masturbation addict, and you don't want to be an anxious frustrated nofapper.
Yeah but every time I cum alone, it reinforces the alone-ness. I'm sick of self-perpetuating loneliness. Going out into the world with hunger & ambition & angst feels empowering right now.
You're a woman who wants to "NoFap"?
I was just using a quick easy term that you're all familiar with. Though Im pretty sure the word "fap" is an onomatopoeia for the rhythmic fleshy smacking noise of penis being furiously stroked in one's own hand.
Then IMO follow what makes you feel right. In general just avoid taking things to extremes.
That same idea can get you into bad relationships. It's better to find a partner with a level head.
This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that ... if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.
You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.
Without sexual release we're a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that's how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.
I'm a man so maybe it's different but having tried both, that certainly isn't the case for me. Without sexual release I just want to cum. It doesn't inspire me to do anything else that won't move me towards that goal. Maybe if masturbation were impossible it would be a different story but as it stands the only purpose being frustrated serves is to distract me from non-sexual tasks. Being lonely on the other hand does inspire me to go out and do things and maintain relationships but it's not for sex. If I'm frustrated in that regard I'd rather just stay home and jerk off. That's a sure thing rather than the incredibly low chance I'll meet someone that wants to fuck me right away.
What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.
Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?
This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.
It's my own subjective experience. Masturbating is effortless immediate gratification that turns me into a reclusive hermit.
But every time I abstain for a month or so, I become a real person who participates in life & wants to connect with people. *
The difference is undeniable.
I'm not telling you what to do and I'm not telling anyone else in the world what I think they should do. I'm telling you my own subjective experience and my own choice.
*Yesterday I had enough courage to approach a super hot guy doing pushups on the beach 🥰 I had seen him there before doing yoga in the same place a couple weeks earlier & fell instantly in love because I'm a yoga girl too so when I saw him again yesterday my inner fires were finally burning at normal level, no shyness or low self-esteem yesterday for a change 😄 We chit-chatted, he likes me 💕
Yes, you're right. Don't let anyone tell you how you feel. Doesn't make it exactly scientific though, even if it's true.
I think maybe you should think through why you feel that way, though. Surely you could decide to go out and be social because you would like to make new friends or be entertained. You're here, writing out your thoughts, so you're able to reflect and decide on actions.
I am older, and have not found any of that to be true. As a lady, more makes more; more sex makes sex feel better and it's easier to get off, and sexual frustration does not make me creative at all, just distracted and frustrated.
There is also physical benefit to sex for older women, I don't know if it's the same for younger, but certainly after menopause sex prevents vaginal atrophy and prolapse of internal organs, it's sort of a use it or lose it situation. Penetration and orgasms are good for muscle tone, apparently. Beyond the obvious benefits of pleasure and relationship building.
It would seem like the source of this unhealthy worldview probably isn't the masturbation. But if nofap honestly (honestly) helps you, then knock yourself out.
I dont agree with that statement unless you're chronically masturbating to hours a day gooner levels. I personally MUST get the poison out once a day whether thats with my girl or myself. That's just how my body/mind works. As far as going out to participate in activities. I don't see not getting a regular nut making you more likely to do a pottery class.