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His soul goes marching on
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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You don't tend to feel guilt unless you're guilty.
Edit: To all the replies saying you can feel guilt for X even if that isn't the correct response, please notice the "tend to" part of my comment.
While that might be true for most healthy people you can also grow up to not feel guilty while being guilty and the other way around. Source: I feel guilty for heating my apartment when i freeze.
Idk if you still need to hear this but you deserve and have every right to be warm and comfortable in your own home (:
I dunno. If they were my neighbors when I was in apartments… they’re the reason I opened my windows in winter despite it being -10 f outside. (It was like 80f inside? With my heater off. Property management had to have more than one chat with me- open windows was a no-no; and then with the neighbors next door.
Ordinarily, yes, you’re right,
Don't feel guilty you and the other neighbors running the heat keep my apartment warm!!!
True. I still find myself with remnants of weird shit like that. I was taught that it was my fault for someone assuming I was guilty, so I had to go out of my way to never seem guilty, and feel guilty if someone thought I was.
I still find myself over-explaining shit when I'm innocent.
Religion is cancer.
Was religion for me too. I remember how i was always told to have done evil by doing things like playing pokemon on the gameboy of my cousin or having a "monsters" on the Bayblades. Questioning anything religious? Evil. And so on.
I totally get the sentiment, but having been raised catholic I’m inclined to disagree. Guilt can come from a bunch of places, including an inordinate sense of community involvement.
That's not true no matter how much you want it to be, how simple of a slogan it is, or how convenient it would make your actions. I get it, we need to teach about race and this is a part of it; but be careful of using justifications like that, it can really hurt your cause. Recognize that social change requires nuance and tact, and to be firm in your positions but adaptable in your approach. These are kids, we need to approach this correctly.
Tbh, I don't think that's true. Feeling guilty is not tied to someone else judging you as guilty.
People feel guilty for some dumb thing they said in a conversation 20 years ago that nobody remembers but they themselves. At the same time, they don't feel guilty for things where they are actively creating suffering, e.g. buying stuff that was made with child labour.
And I also don't think, that guilt is a helpful feeling to teach children in this context. It would be much more helpful to teach them to spot inequality and unfair things and to work on resolving that inequality.
I don't think that inherited guilt is a helpful concept at all, because did a white school kid do wrong except being born with that skin color?
This only leads to these kids breaking out of that guilt and hating the whole concept.
It's also quite unfair in total, since it includes the children of those who fought against the injustice and it includes white children that are worse off than the average black person.
It would theoretically also include me, even though I was born and live in a country where slavery was never legal and where black slaves where never a thing.
Guilt, like most other negative emotions, paralyzes. It doesn't lead to any positive change.
What would be much more important to teach children to see those who are less privileged than them and to do what they can to fight that injustice.
But sadly, many Americans see anything that could reduce social injustice as socialism and thus bad, so many prefer to wallow in guilt instead of actually improving the situation.
White guit is intertwined with white pride.
White people who take pride in what their ancestors did are misplacing that pride, generally because they haven't accomplished anything themselves.
In turn, if you didn't personally cause or aid in the injustice, you shouldn't need to feel guilty. You are not your ancestors, race or melanin.
There are other components. For example I feel guilty not about my ancestors’ actions but for the unfair advantage I have in society by not being racialized.
That's not really true though