41

I really don't want to go into work tomorrow.

all 15 comments
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[-] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 29 points 9 months ago

Granted, but it’s a work retreat.

[-] key@lemmy.keychat.org 23 points 9 months ago

Your belly distends and you feel a horrible pain. Congratulations, it's a boy! Enjoy your two whole weeks of maternity leave. And don't worry about giving insufficient notice, your employer will just deduct it from your vacation time.

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Oh god that's horrific. I love it. Immediate horror and oh god what have I done? Microwave regret available in 30 seconds or less.

[-] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 22 points 9 months ago

Granted, but you're now a cop that's killed an unarmed black toddler

[-] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Dammit, Johnson! I told you to sprinkle some crack on it!

[-] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

Granted, it's bereavement leave. 10 full work days. And your company only offers 2 days paid leave for each death and only for immediate family members. My condolences on your losses.

[-] neatchee@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Granted, enjoy your two weeks in Gaza

[-] Blackout@kbin.run 5 points 9 months ago

Granted you broke your dick in half falling in the shower and have to use your vacation time to recover.

[-] incogtino@lemmy.zip 3 points 9 months ago

Granted, it's called gardening leave, and in 2 weeks you will be unemployed. Enjoy searching for jobs on your vacation

[-] ExtraMedicated@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Granted, but the pay is minimum wage and stays that way when you come back.

[-] MxRemy@lemmy.one 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Granted. You get your paid two weeks, no strings attached. Your new job as a transmission tower climber has surprisingly decent benefits.

[-] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Granted, it's a staycation since you've contracted COVID.

[-] xigoi 2 points 9 months ago

Granted. It’s a paid vacation, meaning you have to pay for it.

[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

Granted. You get 2 weeks severance pay.

this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
41 points (100.0% liked)

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