32
all 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 29 points 8 months ago

Granted. You blink, and when you open your eyes you're in Germany. You're a full German citizen. You own a lovely flat in Munich. Your phone is full of contacts - people and family and friends throughout Germany. You have a German driver's license, you have a job at a German company, and your bank account is filled with Euros.

You speak no German.

[-] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

You know all those news stories you hear about “Person wakes up and can only speak a language they never knew before”. That’s the cover story for these events.

German man wakes up, can only speak English.

[-] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 7 points 8 months ago

Which is largely fine, as most Germans speak English.

[-] livus@kbin.social 3 points 8 months ago

I honestly wouldn't mind this.

I 100% thought that twist was going in a different direction. Other than getting fired in fairly short order, this sounds kind of fun and exciting.

[-] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

You later find out you're Jason Bourne.

[-] TheRaven@lemmy.ca 13 points 8 months ago

Granted. You didn’t define the word “free”. Everything now costs so much more, and it’s all unregulated. Doctors perform surgeries that aren’t necessary. They prescribe extremely harmful drugs. Going to a doctor is now just as risky as trying to deal with the disease by yourself. There are doctors on every street corner offering cures that don’t work, and you can’t tell the difference between a good doctor and a quack.

Pharmaceutical companies now freely and openly push doctors to prescribe more drugs that don’t work. They increase prices astronomically. Even an Advil costs over $100.

The death rate increases, and everyone tries to deal with their dead themselves because having a hospital deal with bodies is too expensive. This leads to an even further spread of disease.

[-] livus@kbin.social 12 points 8 months ago

Granted, your free healthcare system is homeopathic and your surgeon general is Gwynneth Paltrow. But it's completely free!

[-] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 6 points 8 months ago

My greatest fear

[-] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Granted. If you choose to participate your likeness, fingerprints, dna, medical history, and potential children naming rights now belong to some tech startup without proper data security.

[-] KidnappedByKitties@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

Granted - Free euthanasia for any- and everyone, quick, painless, and guaranteed no sick people!

[-] cloudless@lemmy.cafe 4 points 8 months ago

Granted. It is free but the wait time is longer than your lifetime.

[-] GardenVarietyAnxiety@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Granted, but it's only for the ruling class

this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
32 points (100.0% liked)

The Monkey's Paw

610 readers
1 users here now

Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS