cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/17394234
Meditation
The last thing I need is to be left alone with just my thoughts.
Sounds like me when I was in a bad place. Do you need support?
Appreciate the offer, but I'm all good. It's more that my thoughts just race and leap from one subject to the next, and it gets extremely tiring to deal with if I don't have something to distract me.
It still sounds like its exhausting and debilitating.
It can be and my meds help with it but it will never fully stop and I've come to accept that.
Damn. I‘m sorry. Good luck to you buddy.
As other people are saying, that's the point of meditation.
I just started a book, The Art of Living, by Thich Nhat Hahn and he claims that most people don't choose to think their thoughts, thoughts just appear, just like the wind on a rainy day. You can't stop the wind from blowing and you can't stop thoughts from appearing.
The point of meditation is to learn not to 'think' the thoughts that appear.
By tue way I did try this for a year and while i do get the point of it I did not succeed yet.
I hope you're well though!
My brain does not work the way it should. My thoughts are generally something I am capable of controlling.
I think the point is to try and not be consumed by your thoughts. I get your point though.
Meditation wasn't super helpful for me, guided meditation required too much sustained focus and was cognitively fatiguing to stay on track. I have dysphantasia so that doesn't help when you're told to picture things or imagine things as part of meditation, because imagining something requires me to talk to myself in my head, which doesn't feel meditative, it feels too similar to ruminative thought patterns. Doing the "quite wandering mind" style of meditation was risky because I already experience maladaptive daydreaming.
But I discovered "somatic regulation", which is something I kind of already did instinctively when I was getting really stressed or overwhelmed.
When stressed I'd tap my teeth together in a pattern, drum on my chest, hum, wiggle or do fidgety little things, often not even consciously.
Now that I understand what this does for my emotional regulation, I set time aside every day to consciously and mindfully do things that look and feel absolutely ridiculous. Like lying on my stomach and rhythmically slapping the tiled floor, focusing on the sensations rather than trying to clear my mind, or guide my mind.
I started mid last year, and it's been the only form of mental health self care that I've been able to remain consistent in, and I've noticed a drastic decrease in how often I feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. I'm also able to identity when I'm starting to get stressed much earlier than I used to, and more quickly identify a way to reduce it. I've always struggled to identify emotions in the moment, but I feel like now my mind-body connection is stronger. It's easier to tell when my headache is because I'm hungry/thirsty vs stressed or tense. Before I used to just guess, try everything and hope something worked, then look back with hindsight thinking "guess that was a hunger headache because relaxing didn't help but carrot sticks did". Now I'm more likely to know what I need.
Edit: just realised this post was in the Autism community, lol, I need to learn to read things more thoroughly, I was talking about stimming without saying the word "stimming" because I'm so used to getting flak for that in the NT subs I post in.
Yeah, that's meditation. There are so many types of meditation, there's almost certainly something that will work for everyone. As long as you're focusing inward, not really trying to be cognizant of the things running through your head, it achieves the goal.
Personally, I like fixed point gazing, which is exactly how it sounds. Find something, stare at it. Resist urges to blink or look away. Eventually your eyes will water, you'll start to get bored... Keep going until you just feel like stopping.
I've heard of some meditation for people with ADHD, where their mind is always trying to run. Go, sit in a crowded place like a food court, and try to listen to every individual sound. Not like, conversations and their meanings or anything, just the sounds of the words. Eventually their overactive mind will just start to wear itself out.
My point is, there's no one "meditation" - as long as you're setting the time aside to focus on self reflection, you're doing it right.
Have tried it several times, but like most things it works for a few days then just becomes an "upkeep cost" which doesn't benefit me anymore, and I drop it.
Honestly it's a necessity at times. Though I found certain activities elicit the same "thoughtlessness" that I get when I meditatw such as motorcycling. No time to think about anything else but the road and the bike, making it ironically one of the most relaxing activities I do.
Sometimes when i feel overwhelmed by sadness (or some other paintful fealing, I ride my bycycle the next night instead of sleeping (at night to avoid daytime sounds, light and people). So I can process my feelings in peace. People I mention this to usually accuse me of being intentionaly weird.
Have heard this countless times. Good that you found this for yourself. :)
Yeah, I say the same about my onewheel. Step on it, instant free head - a complete anti depression machine
I actually meditate basically all the time. At one point I thought, why not have the clear crystal ball all the time, instead of "just" when I make time to sit down and meditate?
Pretty much the same here. I meditate when I get stressed, I do yoga moves every day. It helped me tremendously getting my life back together so I keep at it.
For any onlookers: this is a process so start at any point, no minimum requirement to be valid. :)
With all the time I actually mean all the time, dunno if you mean the same thing. Like I don't do any actual yoga exercises or meditation sessions, I simply meditate while making myself some food, for example.
But yes, it's definitely a process that you can do ass little or as much of as you'd like :)
I'm afraid of my own thoughts.
Likely NT here, but meditation is awesome. Sometimes when I am particularly stressed or overwhelmed it's kinda hard to get in the right state of mind, it's as if I forget how easy it is to meditate, but when it does click it makes everything that much more simple.
Highly recommended to anyone going through rough times or even people who are fine but would like to have their brain shut up for a little while.
Thanks for chiming in! I agree fully and am happy to know we have allies here. :)
Every time I've tried meditation it has triggered a panic attack. Oh well
Interesting! Why do you think is that?
Gratitude is an awesome meditation, in addition to watching thoughts pass through. I use gratitude meditation when I'm feeling particularly nasty.
Thats awesome! Thoughts passing through works well for me too. I dont really get gratitude meditation though. Maybe there‘s not a lot I‘m thankful for. :)
That's the point, shifting the focus from what's wrong to what's right. Eg
Thank you body part that hurts, for doing what I ask you to do, even though you hurt.
Thank you brain for functioning so I can plan and carry out my day, etc.
Thank you for a roof today that shelters me. Thank you for food that nourishes me so I can live, etc
Tried it once and it doesn't work for me.
Maybe it's because some of my hobbies can be meditative in its own way...
That is correct.
Not regularly; but when I'm overwhelmed, I sit in that position and practice breathing until my breathing and heart rate regulates and my mind is cleared, and then I self-validate until I am in control enough to see the problem clearly and either work through it or continue on with my day. Mindfulness, baby! Works for anger, shame, sensory meltdowns, etc. 💙
Thats pretty awesome, ngl! :)
Oh god please don't leave me alone with my thoughts. Meditation leaves me with panic attacks, and breathing exercises leave me dizzy and anxious.
Would dissociating for a while work? 🥺👉👈
Exactly this. I do NOT want to be in there alone.
That kind of means you need to be.
This might work for a lot of people, but if you're past a certain threshold, or, once you're alone with your thoughts, you only manage to self-flagellate, you're only going to end up in a worse place than before. People in these situations do not need to be told to meditate, they need to be taught how, probably with direct guidance at the beginning.
Sounds like me when I was in a bad place mentally. Do you have support?
Yep, I do it just as I wake up to avoid what the comic describes.
Great idea! Thanks for mentioning it.
Yeah, sometimes. In Germany, if you're a college student, you can get access to the app 7Mind for free (see Campus College). I think for me it really depends on the day. Sometimes it works really well, sometimes it doesn't help a lot. It usually doesn't harm - I just sometimes am not really able to relax. Part of the practice though is to learn that that's okay. I am still in the process of learning that not being able to relax and be with your thoughts is absolutely okay! Thus, meditation for me is more about checking in with me how I'm feeling. If it helps me relax - great! If not - perfectly fine, then I now know that I'm not relaxed.
I suppose I still do it in some sense. If I have a lot of muscle tension built up or am otherwise starting to get a headache/migraine. I just lie down in bed, and focus on breathing until my body enters that sleep state where it completely relaxes and doesn't respond to my commands. Like a nice nap, but without actually falling asleep (much faster, no grogginess). Or like sleep paralysis, but without the demons. ;D
I also tried meditation to focus on the subconscious stream of thoughts, which was extremely fascinating. But I had to stop after a week or so since I started to become aware of it even when not meditating, which felt like someone constantly whispering in my ears and it was quite maddening. I would still recommend giving it a try though. Becoming aware of some subconscious thought chains/loops, especially the negative ones, and learning to cut them short had a huge impact on my mental well-being.
Only started recently. Not for calming down, but for honing focus.
If you wanted to start with meditation, what would be a good starting point? Reading certains books or using an app? I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the options
Find a quiet place where you can be undisturbed, sit comfortably and close your eyes.
Breathe in, then breathe out.
Focus on your breathing.
In, and out.
Eventually your mind will wander somewhere else, that is normal and expected. Just bring it back to focusing on breathing.
In and out again.
Feel the air as it fills your lungs, feel what it is like to hold it in, and concentrate on what you feel as you let it out.
You're basically just training your mind to focus on one thing and to be mindful.
Rince repeat as much as you like, I enjoy putting on a timer for 10 minutes, but really you do as you feel is good for you.
The most important thing to know is that there is no being "good" at meditating or not getting "it", you're either meditating or not meditating.
Thats a great and easy way to get started in my opinion.
Once in a while, it does help me to calm down, but I don't do it often enough to get the long-term benefits it's supposed to give you.
No, I prefer to draw or knit and just let my thoughts run free. Which might or might not be the same.
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