this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
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chapotraphouse

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You will not be allowed to cook it. It's epic bacon time.

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[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Good to see you here RFK Jr. I work with a Trump voter who remembers growing up during Camelot. She has expressed interest in your campaign. What is the most compelling reason for a lifelong Republican to vote for your Independent ticket?

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Lifetime rations of under cooked pork.

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

That might convince her. She needs a lot of food for the several dozen stray cats that she feeds.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Glad to have her on board. I will also denounce Lancelot as a stupid slut who should have remembered bros come first.

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I assume that by Lancelot, you mean Robert McNamara. Couldn't agree with you more.

[–] kashifshah 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Can we have a side of bleach to wash out the vaccines in the pork?

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

My naturopath tells me if you keep a healing crystal next to your plate it will neutralize the vaccines.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What is your position on mercury poisoning? Woke or based?

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

Extremely based. Everyone knows eating several dozen tuna sandwiches a week is part of a balanced diet.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You will not be allowed to cook it.

I have a little microwave the size of the shredder the Israeli ambassador has

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Microwaving would destroy the most important part.

[–] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Mindflayer bard multiclassed into a dirgesinger

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

Finally someone promises to post hog.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"now I know a lot of you are thinking, Robert, what about vegetarians and vegans? they will receive two rations of under cooked pork."

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Fear not citizen, cruciferous vegetables such as kale, broccoli and cauliflower are also acceptable for spreading the ~~worm~~ word of my people.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit I love raw broccoli oh shit oh fuck!

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I might have jumped to conclusions here from a Times of India clickbait article. If you're washing your broccoli you should probably be fine from joining the collective

[–] Edamamebean@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Thank you Mr President, fusion cuisine such as pork sashimi is just the kind of thing our nation needs to unite and bring us together in these difficult and polarizing times.

[–] Hexphoenix@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'll vote for you but only if the pork is made of the-pigs

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Really any kind of uncooked meat that supports my brethren is on the table.

[–] TheModerateTankie@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Make America Violently Shit Again

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How do we receive said daily ration? Does it arrive via mail?

I don't check my mail very often...

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

It will be delivered by aerial drone. Just make sure to get it in your mouth as soon as possible.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like the dreaded populism.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's what my uncle would have wanted before the CIA shot him in the fucking head. My head however is now impervious to bullets, they will just go straight through like in a cartoon.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 10 months ago

See? Be wary with proposing such election bacon, there's bound to be pretty many potential voters for that, and even more as the food insecurity progress in USA. Can't you just promise more genocide like every respectable candidate?

[–] Maoo@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah. That's right.

It's tapeworm time.

[–] Rod_Blagojevic@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Everybody gets a paid day off because they're shitting their brains out.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

You will be allowed to cease pork consumption once assimilation has been confirmed.

[–] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 2 points 10 months ago