971
Yes, yes we do. (lemmy.world)
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[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 137 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Also dating apps are a complete privacy nightmare

[-] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 41 points 6 months ago
[-] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 30 points 6 months ago

I paid $0 for the app I met my wife on.

[-] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 months ago

Same.

It was MySpace.

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[-] mihnt@lemmy.ca 127 points 6 months ago

For those of us still in Nam, kill me, please.

[-] ma1w4re@lemm.ee 37 points 6 months ago

Please kill me too, right after this guy 😭

[-] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago

Dibs on thirdsies

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[-] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 77 points 6 months ago

Not just dating, I think gen x looks at everything that way at this point.

[-] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 15 points 6 months ago
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[-] schwim@lemm.ee 70 points 6 months ago

That's an incredibly accurate way of describing what looking at dating today feels like.

[-] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 70 points 6 months ago

Tinder and the other apps are pretty bad. Partly because they want to make money, not matches.

But also partly because the users suck at using them. People are like "I want interesting conversation" but reply with nothing but "lol". Come in my dude put some work in.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago

But also partly because the users suck at using them. People are like “I want interesting conversation” but reply with nothing but “lol”.

A lot of profiles on these sites are entirely fake or bot-operated, to boost the impression that you're getting matches. Some profiles are run by data miners who swipe match on everyone just to get the additional data that comes with a match. Others are run by businesses that are using the profiles for promotion.

Slapping "I want interesting conversation" in the profile is a great way to bait engagement, but more often than not there's no dating prospect on the other side of the profile. This isn't a string of incredibly vapid women you're running into, its dummy accounts and scams.

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[-] bountygiver@lemmy.ml 15 points 6 months ago

yup if any dating service needs you to pay a subscription instead of a one time payment and it helps you until you succeed, they have an active incentive to keep you as a customer as long as possible and guess what makes you stop being a customer.

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[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 67 points 6 months ago

Oh God yes.

Look me and my wife met on a dating site. No shame in this. We both had pretty detailed profiles with lots of photos and luckily for us we were living fairly close by in the same stages in life. Our first date we both kinda knew what we were about. At the same time neither of us had real social media accounts so yeah no weird stalking games.

Now, me and her dated for three years until we moved in together. That was enough time. Time to see each other as people, warts and all. We have our share of embarrassing memories. I remember the time she got wasted and threw up BBQ squid and wine on me on the train. She remembers the time my card got declined at dinner. We had seen each other frustrated, failing at something, ill, broke, in the morning, drunk, out of work, and all the other downs real humans have. Both of us decided we were okay with that and well we are still together today.

Now I see the black mirror like horrorshow that is tinder from my younger friends and hear them say things how they consider it sus if you aren't on Instagram. I see them acting like a date is a job interview. Gameification and weird cryptic terms like "high value". Long lists of must haves and must nots.

Mother of fuck how and why would anyone want this? I felt like we had it pretty well figured out when in my early 20s. You could meet someone the traditional way or you could use a dating site and find someone who has the same fun hobbies as you. Oh they aren't exactly who you normally date? Ok. See what happens.

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[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 59 points 6 months ago

What does this mean? How is Gen Z dating?

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 87 points 6 months ago

The data says mostly through dating apps, for one, which seems so impersonal and frustrating from the outside.

[-] SparrowRanjitScaur@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I don't get all the hate dating apps get. I met my wife on bumble, so maybe I'm biased. But still, it seems significantly better than the methods previous generations had (blind dating, speed dating, getting introduced to random friends that might happen to have something in common).

What's the alternative? You just happen to get lucky enough to meet someone in your daily life that's a good fit? One of the advantages of dating apps is that you get introduced to a much larger pool of potential partners than you otherwise would, which makes it significantly easier to filter out the wheat from the chaff and find a good fit.

[-] Dhs92@programming.dev 54 points 6 months ago

I think part of the problem is dating apps keep getting worse and worse as they try to squeeze as much profit out of their users as possible. Tinder just came out with a $500/month tier

[-] brognak@lemm.ee 21 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Pretty much this. I remember OG OkCupid and it was rad. It was a site ran by data nerds who wanted to help nerds find each other, and they wrote pretty frequent blog posts about their findings and how they were changing things up all for like ~$15 a month. All that started eroding until they got bought out by Match and its a cesspool of microtransactions now.

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[-] BakerBagel@midwest.social 15 points 6 months ago

Dating apps are designed to keep you on them. They cant make money of you use them for a few months and then delete it.

Young people are actually using social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat to date. People you sorta knew in high school or college, share some mutual interests, and then hang out from there and see what happens.

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[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago

The idea of meeting people online seemed so exciting back in the 90's and 00's. How ever did it go so wrong?

[-] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 21 points 6 months ago

Paid apps is where it went wrong. It stopped being something that happened organically and became a gamified P2W experience that catered to narcissists.

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[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 58 points 6 months ago

I watch single millennial friends dating at it looks fucking miserable.

Very lucky to be hitched

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[-] callouscomic@lemm.ee 46 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Everybody says this. I heard this from older people about dating 10 years ago, and 20 years ago. This is just what people say as they get older regardless of how dating changes.

[-] ObsidianZed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 6 months ago

Yeah, see if I had to start dating again, I wouldn't date Gen Z. Problem solved.

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[-] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 34 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

This, definitely.

We got to live our teens and twenties without smartphones and social media - and it was so awesome.

You did something incredibly embarassing last weekend when you were drunk? No need to worry about photos or videos online and nobody would remember or care a few weeks later.

You date someone a few times and things don't match up? You move on, no need to worry about them stalking or badmouthing you online.

The world seemed to be on a course for the better and the dumbass populist movements were marginal in most countries. Future looked bright and it was easy to be carefree. We got to enjoy our youths.

There were no short or vertical videos. You had to read vast majority of the information available, which made you actually process the info. And someone had put in the effort to write the stuff coherently, because no-one would read the kind of crap that video bloggers are spewing out of their mouths.

By the time we started working, the economic situation was mostly stable and getting a loan for a house or an apartment was pretty much guaranteed.

And so much more. I count myself extremely lucky to have been born in the late 70's.

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[-] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 32 points 6 months ago

Yeeeah, I found myself single again after a divorce, and I have not even tried to date seriously after seeing what's currently on the market.

Folks out here thinking that dating is a replacement for some much-needed therapy.

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[-] MY_ANUS_IS_BLEEDING@lemm.ee 29 points 6 months ago

I met my wife in 2011, just before Tinder got big in our area. I remember our single friends being ecstatic when Tinder was first around, saying about how easy it was to meet people.

Many of them are still single and now well into their 30's. They talk a lot about wanting to find someone special, but they just swipe and swipe and swipe all day to no avail. Shit's bleak out there. And I just know that if I didn't meet my wife I'd probably be stuck in the same rut.

[-] klemptor@startrek.website 25 points 6 months ago

Holy shit this is so accurate.

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[-] Ballistic_86@lemmy.world 25 points 6 months ago

I’m on “the apps” as a nearly 40 year old. It is a nightmare for sure. With so many options little things or “not vibing” on the very first in-person interaction ends any chance at forming a relationship.

While this negative thinking about dating can def lead down or around the incel community, there are def many negative aspects of online dating becoming the norm that are def not ideal.

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[-] Starkstruck@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago

Dating apps are terrible because they don't want you to actually find a good partner. If you find a good partner, you have no need for the dating app anymore. So they'll match you with people that'll peak your interest, but ultimately won't work out.

Obviously there's more to it than just that, but this is a big part of the problem.

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[-] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

My wife and I have been together for a decade. Before she and I met, I dated pretty heavily on the online options at the time. All of my worst dates ever were found online. I decided online dating was depressing and stupid, just stopped trying to date anyone, and started just meeting people in person. It was wildly more successful. I had fewer dates but they were way higher quality. No one showing up on shrooms, ghosting me, or acting scandalized because I'm a little guy despite it being outlined multiple times in my online profile.

Aside: The latter is my personal favorite. I'm a hair over 5'6 and proportionally built. I'm not just short, I'm small. One woman I met immediately accused me of being deceptive about my height, even though I was actually taller than claimed at around 5'7 with dress shoes on. She was also 5'6 but was standing a bit taller than me. She had forgotten she was wearing heels. That date ended quickly. Bullet dodged.

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[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 23 points 6 months ago

I'm getting close to 40 and feel like I got left behind. It's rare that I even meet someone I would want to date let alone them want to date me as well. I don't have any interest in dating apps because they require too much information and putting pictures online so unless I happen to meet someone in real life I've just gotten comfortable being single.

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[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I met my SO in... I think it was 2017? Well after the rise of Tinder. We did not meet on Tinder, and neither of us have ever had an account on there.

We met through a social group for a game (not dissimilar to pokemon go), where we happened to play for the same team in the same area. We would have team meet ups occasionally and all go for coffee and to play the game at locations where there was a lot of things to do in the game.

I have not, and likely will never, use something like Tinder. Not only is it unlikely that my current relationship would fail, but even if I found myself single for some reason, I just couldn't care less. I've been through it all already. A LOT of shit relationships to the point where I'm kind of over it. If I didn't have my current relationship, I'm not sure I'd care to get into another one. To put it simply, my partner and I are so well matched that we've never felt the need to even raise our voice at eachother. I have an amazing relationship, we're both happy and comfortable. The only thing left to do is put a ring on it and wait for our inevitable demise. I wouldn't try to find any cheap substitute for them. Nobody has a chance of measuring up. I don't think that would be fair to anyone involved.

I have no illusions. I was profoundly lucky. So I don't expect anyone to "get" it.

I am with them, and they are with me, now, until the end of our days. Separate, and together.

[-] RaccoonBall@lemm.ee 24 points 6 months ago

Was it ingress? If so you bastards better not be team blue.

[-] Hexarei@programming.dev 15 points 6 months ago

This guy's with The Enlightened, rattle him boys!

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[-] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 6 months ago

fortunate son intensifies

[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

I do thank the stars I didn’t have to try the dating app scene. It seems soul crushing from the outside

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this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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