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Anon fucks up (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 136 points 1 month ago

Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up ~~chicks~~ worshippers.

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 63 points 1 month ago

Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.

Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?

[-] user224 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murderers? Rapists? Slave owners? ...? Yep. But, "Do not question God's intentions. He works in mysterious ways."

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

And botflies. Don't forget botflies.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

All things dull and ugly,

All creatures short and squat,

All things rude and nasty,

The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,

Each little wasp that stings,

He made their brutish venom.

He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,

All evil great and small,

All things foul and dangerous,

The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,

Each beastly little squid

Who made the spiky urchin?

Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,

All pox both great and small,

Putrid, foul and gangrenous,

The Lord God made them all.

Amen!

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

There's a great DarkMatter2525 video on this. By valuing "free will" over helping people, he directly favors evil. Man rapes woman, but god doesn't help because "free will". The woman had no "free will" to prevent it. Bad guy gets what he wanted, victim gets trauma.

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[-] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

He also kills defenseless babies before they can be baptized. And if life begins at conception, why is God pubishing babies by killing them in the womb (aka stillborn)? Why do they deserve to be stuck in purgatory when they are innocent?

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[-] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 1 month ago

Story of Job is basically

Satan: bet that guy wouldn't worship you anymore if you ruined his life

God: Totally would, watch me kill his whole family

They are both on team asshole

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[-] Sabata11792@ani.social 37 points 1 month ago

Satan has death metal and titties. What's not to like?

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[-] seathru 19 points 1 month ago
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[-] Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic. So even if you consider Satan as the good guy, God is still responsible for both good and evil.

[-] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago

Christianity is has almost always been so dangerously close to polytheism that it’s laughable it isn’t considered to be.

It’s just bureaucracy at this point, I guess it’s not polytheism if you lower everyone to “middle manager god”

[-] FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.

Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT

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[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 82 points 1 month ago

Hol'upaminnitt. Lucy stops the panic attack and delivers the tasties, and they're still the baddie? Anon is one ungrateful gumby.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Satan is cool and understanding. He was God's bitch once as well.

[-] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

God just claims you have free will. Satan is the one that actually fights for it

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[-] Lizardking27@lemmy.world 76 points 1 month ago

Sounds like God wasn't capable enough to stay competitive in today's spiritual market.

[-] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 month ago

God needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps. He can't expect to have everyone's souls handed to him.

[-] FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago

Read your bibles people: GOD IS THE VILLAIN

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago

The biggest trick of the devil was to convince everyone he was actually god

[-] molten_iron@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

the plot twist is real

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[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 42 points 1 month ago

Christianity would have been so much cooler if the Gnostics won the cult war

[-] djsoren19@yiffit.net 6 points 1 month ago

Yeah, it's unfortunate that death-cults preaching about the poison of reality are really bad at surviving through time.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago

Idk, the Catholics figured it out

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago
[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 month ago
[-] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 month ago

Highest resolution 4chan post I've ever seen

[-] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 month ago
[-] Lupus108@feddit.de 25 points 1 month ago

Just rolling into the next panic attack, huh?

[-] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 22 points 1 month ago

Praise Satan!

[-] midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 month ago

Hail Satan!

[-] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

Lucy was the angel who stood up to their bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father and got kicked out for it. Why would I want to hang out with the judgmental prick instead of the guy who just wants everyone to eat drink and be merry?

[-] minibyte@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father

Imagine Yahweh the war god is your Dad.

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[-] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 month ago

Anon tells on themselves about their true beliefs.

[-] systemglitch@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Good thing god is all forgiving I hear.

[-] Lizardking27@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

God is the one that should be begging our forgiveness.

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[-] Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 month ago

Plot twist: the calm was inside of you all along.

[-] BreadOven@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Hail Satin!

[-] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago
[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

Oye cómo va

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[-] SuperNinjaFury@lemm.ee 14 points 1 month ago

Hail Santa!

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago

The only reason Jaweh is seen as the good guy is because they are better at marketing

[-] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago
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this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
609 points (94.6% liked)

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