this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2024
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Atheist Memes

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 69 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But that book is the only thing that keeps them from going on murderous rampages. Coming to think of it, it's not even very good at stopping the murderous rampages.

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Crusades, the Inquisition, the war in the middle east - all Abrahamic-religiously motivated murderous activities.

[–] macrocephalic@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Israel - Palestine is two non-Christian abrahamic religions fighting each other currently. Then of course there's Catholics and Protestants, and all the different Muslim - Christian conflicts.

[–] AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tell ya what, I'll build a time machine, go back, find this Abraham guy, teach him English, get him caught up on the last 2 millennia, and have him straighten out all this shit.

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What if John Wilkes Booth was a time traveling assassin and got the wrong Abraham?

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd read that short story.

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It certainly does not stop them from raping. However reading the Bible, it seems it actually encourages both murder and rape.

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Depends on the eyes reading it, I read the Bible like several times and all it did was make me not believe in it less each time

[–] ruse8145 1 points 1 year ago

Only of furiners. Red blooded s are safe.

[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How about Numbers 31:17-18 where Moses says:

Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Definitely not as sex slaves, as a certain religious person I know argues, as apparently that would be intermarriage and forbidden! They just have to live with the trauma of having their entire family brutally murdered before them, and then being enslaved to the murderers for the rest of their lives. So much better!

[–] ruse8145 5 points 1 year ago

How would you have morals without religion

As an example of what not to do

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hey man housing is housing

[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Probably get 1k a month for a good sized fish stomach.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I remember that Ren and Stimpy episode...

[–] solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But it's not supposed to be literal!

(unless I say it is)

[–] groucho 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you read it the right way, the book of Jonah reads like a really weird episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[–] dessimbelackis@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

What’s the book of Job then? A you tube prank channel run by man-babies?

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Arrested Development

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A narcissistic asshole gaslighting its victims into believing they’re not really victims because the narcissistic asshole made a bet.

It’s supposed the be an explanation for how evil can exist despite a benevolent creator… but it sums up as a sock puppet to which the explanation is “you wouldn’t understand”

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's also completely undermined in Isaiah.

I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Isaiah 45:7. Evil exists because God creates evil.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

pretty sure Isaiah didn't conceive of a benevolent god.

pretty sure Isaiah's god (all four isaiahs, in fact,) was a pretty freaking angry god.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The Bible is nothing if not inconsistent.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

"Sorry about your wives and kids, have some new ones. It was just a prank bro."

[–] groucho 2 points 1 year ago

Pretty much yeah. I was going to say an episode of Fear Factor but same thing.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

No no you don't understand. You shouldn't be taking it literally it's an allegory - many theists probably

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I believe ever time the bible mentions angel in physical form was just Albino people fucking around.

[–] CaptainSpaceman@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Biblically accurate angels are exactly what youd see on some good psychedelics

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] 01101000_01101001@mander.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone knows cherubim are naked babies

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

More properly known as putti but terminology gets mixed up all the time.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The authors didn't make a distinction between whales and fish.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

to be fair, there's no such thing as a fish...

[–] teegus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

It says it right trere, first paragraph

[–] ruse8145 2 points 1 year ago

I see you, have an upvote

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It says “large fish” in Hebrew.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, and if they had a word for whale specifically, it was considered a type of large fish.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now, the text doesn’t say “God appointed a whale” but just “a great fish.” Both the original Hebrew dag gadol and the Greek of the Septuagint, kētei megalōi, translate as “huge fish.” Archaeology has proved that the Mediterranean was once home to a great variety of whales —which the Romans hunted almost to the point of extinction. It might be the case that the author of the biblical text simply wanted to contrast Jonah’s “closed mouth” to that of the “big fish,” able not only to swallow a whole human being but also being hollow enough as to provide him with safe shelter for three days and three nights. Interestingly enough, during those three days Jonah certainly keeps his mouth open — he seems to spend them praying out loud.

But how did this “big fish” turn into a whale and not into one of the 47 species of sharks found in the Mediterranean? It seems St. Jerome is to blame.

https://aleteia.org/2021/07/15/jonah-was-not-swallowed-by-a-whale

[–] angelmountain@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does it really matter whether it was a whale or a "fish"? You can't live in either, so it's a BS story in a book of fairytales people take way too seriously.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

No, it doesn't matter. This was purely academic.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

You're taking the story too literally.