Stupid Fucking Moron Dies Doing Something Stupid

A moron died today after being warned repeatedly to not do the thing that killed him.

Ignoring warnings and being clueless to the zoom feature on 100% of cameras and phones offered to the population today, he instead walked towards the 12,000 lb animal and its offspring, sending it into a rage.

The Not Quite Mensa Material was 43 years old and people who knew him are amazed he made it that long.

Funny tourists go home! became such a popular sentiment among the spanish, while also out doing stupid shit in other countries, as a tourist.

Maybe "tourists go home" was what the elephants were trumpeting as he got trampled to death

What in the actual f*&%:

According to park officials, the man, who was with three friends, climbed out of his vehicle and walked towards the animals to take photos.

So tourists think that they are domesticated animals?! They're not dogs. Respect nature.

Better than squirt guns

(sad story, I know, but oddly similar to the story out of Barcelona this week......)

I didn’t have to read the article to know that this was someone being an idiot. Reading the article confirmed that.

Tragic, and very stupid.

Listen to your guides, folks. It's for your own safety.

Darwin Award winner spotted.

I saw possibly these same elephants a year ago during a visit to pilanesbirg, and they were majestic and gorgeous. Our guide was very experienced and was very clear with us that the elephants didn’t want trouble with us, but that they will knock over cars and charge people if they feel like their babies are under threat. We saw some tourists in private cars try and drive up close to a mother helping two babies (calves I guess?) across the road, and she turned on the jeep, stamped and made a very impressive trumpet blare (basically her being like FUCK YOU, BACK OFF) before walking back off.

I feel bad for the guy, and it’s a sad story, but having seen one of these herds, and seeing how incredibly large and powerful they were, I cannot imaging trying to walk up to them or approach them in any way.

Seeing animals like these elephants was a humbling experience for me that drove home that we are small, and probably not as special as we like to think. I locked eyes with one while they were eating a tree and I don’t know how to describe it, but it felt like looking at another human—my brain had no doubt that this was a highly intelligent sentient creature. I would rate this visit to pilanesburg as probably one of the most memorable and impactful experiences I’ve ever had.

Play elephant games, win elephant prizes

You're on the African savanna. Don't get out of the fucking car. Even if the elephants don't trample you, there's lions and hyenas and stuff. Just fucking stupid.

Elephants are also tired of those pesky tourists.

I did some work on the geology of Pilanesburg a few years back. To walk around outside the vehicles, we had two armed rangers accompanying us, both to keep us and the animals safe. It is unimaginable to think of approaching a herd of elephants on foot.

following the steps of his former king

This is the best summary I could come up with:

A Spanish tourist has been trampled to death by elephants in a South African national park after apparently trying to take pictures of a breeding herd that included three calves.

The 43-year-old man was killed on Sunday morning at Pilanesberg national park about 130 miles (210km) north-west of Johannesburg.

Pieter Nel, the board’s chief conservation officer, told Agence France-Presse that the matriarch of the herd had attacked after becoming “agitated” by the man’s approach.

The board offered its condolences to the dead man’s family and friends, saying it was “very saddened by this tragic incident”.

Last year 50 people were killed and 85 injured by wild animals – mostly elephants – in neighbouring Zimbabwe, according to local authorities.

The central government’s representative to the region told La Vanguardia that consular staff were travelling to the scene of the accident to take possession of the man’s body and repatriate it.

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